


Coffee & Conversation - RFA Chatrooms

by poetic_leopard



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Randomness, chatroom format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetic_leopard/pseuds/poetic_leopard
Summary: This is just going to be a series of short 'drabbles' in the form of MM chatrooms because I'm MM trash and I needed an outlet to indulge myself. I'm hinting at a potential Jumin/Zen relationship throughout the chats. Will the rest of the RFA members figure out that something's up? Does Jumin Han is Gay For Hyun Ryu? Will Saeran show up to stir up some trouble at some point? Will MC and Seven have their hypothetical space station wedding? Will Yoosung finally realize that his cousin was a snake? Does this even have a plot line? We'll just have to wait and see.





	1. Frigid Jumin

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome To Rika's Fundraising Association!

**[new chatroom] Frigid Jumin  
**

* * *

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

ZEN: Jaehee, hello!

Jaehee Kang: Good afternoon, Zen.

ZEN: How is your day going?

Jaehee Kang: My day has been alright. 

Jaehee Kang: Just swamped with work as usual.

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han has just handed me a fresh batch of reports to fill out. My tasks are never ending...!! 

ZEN: ...

ZEN: That jerk!!!

ZEN: He has zero consideration for his employees;;

ZEN: If it’s any consolation, Jaehee  
  
ZEN: Know that if you worked for me, I would never do that to you,,

Jaehee Kang: I appreciate your empathy, Zen.  
  
Jaehee Kang: But this is what I signed up for^^

ZEN: Still!! 

ZEN: This is no way to treat a lady!!

ZEN: That trust fund kid doesn't have a shred of compassion.  
  
Jaehee Kang: 

Jaehee Kang: This may be true. 

Jaehee Kang: It is not my place to say but…  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han only ever shows emotion towards Elizabeth the 3rd.

ZEN: 

ZEN: AHHHH!!!

ZEN: DON’T EVEN UTTER THAT NAME IN FRONT OF ME!!

ZEN: I just sneezed…!!! 

Jaehee Kang: Oops…

Jaehee Kang: I’m sorry. 

Jaehee Kang: Hey, would you mind actually taking a selfie right now?

ZEN: ;;;

ZEN: You want a picture of me sneezing?

Jaehee Kang: …

Jaehee Kang: If it’s not too much trouble.

ZEN: Of course not!

ZEN: I am always camera ready;;

  
  
ZEN: It’s a curse, really. 

ZEN: Someday I’m afraid my unrelenting good looks will damage the lens;;

ZEN: A brilliant flash vs a brilliant face

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

ZEN: could even induce a chemical reaction.

Jaehee Kang: I would say that is not scientifically plausible, but then again, your beauty is beyond the grasp of science itself.

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, hello.

Jumin: Oh, I’ve walked in on another one of Zen’s ego trips. How unfortunate. 

Jumin: It is truly a shame that you have to feed his insatiable pride, Assistant Kang. Especially when you have work to complete. 

Jaehee Kang: …

Jaehee Kang: Right.

Jaehee Kang: I should get back to it, then.

Jaehee Kang: Talk to you later, Zen.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Good day, Mr. Han.

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

ZEN: Great…!! You chased her away.

ZEN: Don’t get mad at Jaehee, she was merely stating facts. 

ZEN: You can’t oppose what is written in the stars… 

ZEN: My good looks are god’s gift to the world.

Jumin: Zen,

ZEN: What;;

Jumin: Do you ever hear yourself when you talk?

Jumin: Or register what you type, in this case?

ZEN: 

ZEN: Whatever… 

ZEN: I don’t want to chat with you.

ZEN: I have better things to do with my time.

Jumin: Like flirt with your reflection in the mirror for a solid half hour?

Jumin: I think you have what many psychologists term as a 'superiority complex.'

Jumin: Maybe I should get Assistant Kang to set up an appointment with a therapist for you, Zen.

Jumin: You should keep that ego of yours in check before it inflates any further and you blow up like a grenade.

Jumin: 

ZEN: Shut up!!!

ZEN: At least I have a soul. 

_707 has entered the chatroom._

707: ooooooooohhhhh

707: clash of the titans!

Jumin: What good does that do?

ZEN: You’re simply jealous;; 

ZEN: I’m sculpted like a Greek statue

ZEN: And you? 

ZEN: You may have some looks, but women only like men who are unafraid of displaying their vulnerabilities! 

ZEN: I am strong and sensitive…!!

ZEN: You are a robot with eyes only for your cat.

ZEN: I actually feel sorry for you... 

ZEN: You're obviously frigid;; 

Jumin: …I am not. 

ZEN: I bet that’s the real reason you don’t date women.

ZEN: Not because you’re androgynous;  
  
ZEN: But because you’re so frigid.

707: ohhhhhh!

707: Zen has cracked the code!!!

707: Frigid Juju!!

707: lolololol

707: I wish I had popcorn right now…

707: But all I have are these Honey Buddha chips~~

707: Guess they’ll just have to do!!!

707: Gentlemen!

707: Contain yourselves!

Jumin: Don’t pretend to know me.

ZEN: Seven’s right;

ZEN: I don’t need to waste any more of my energy on you.

ZEN: I have another rehearsal in 20 minutes.

ZEN: So I must preserve my energy.

Jumin: Break a leg. 

ZEN: DO YOU MEAN THAT LITERALLY?

Jumin: Come on, Zen.

Jumin: You don’t have to look for an insult in everything that I say. 

ZEN: Whatever;;

707: haha

707: Haha

707: Hahaha

707: HAHAHAHAHA  
  
707: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

707: ha

Jumin: ?

ZEN: Good going, you jerk,

ZEN: You broke Seven.

707: So cute…!!!

707: 

707: You 2

707: You 2 R So Cute!

707: Young love!! Blossoming in the summer winds!!

707: They grew up worlds apart but…

ZEN: …

Jumin: That’s not very funny.  
  
707: Destiny strives to bring them together as one!  
  
707: The odds may be stacked against them, but there’s nothing that they can’t overcome,,  
  
707: With the power of Looooooveeee!!!

707: Really?

707: I thought it was hilarious!!

707: God!

707: God! God!

707: God Seven!

707: God Seven is so funny!

707: I revive frigid hearts with the defibrillator of my humor~

707: My influence spreads far and wide…

707: Oh,,, 

707: Would you look at the time!!!

707: Back to work

707: Work, work, work  
  
707: The woes of slavery…  
  
707: The plight of the distraught hacker…

707: I must part with you;;  
  
707: Work, work  
  
707: It’s a vicious cycle!

707: Seven  
  
707: O

707: Seven  
  
707: Out! 

_707 has left the chatroom._

ZEN: Sometimes I worry about him...

Jumin: Yes.

ZEN: I’m going to leave, too.  
  
ZEN: Before this gets any weirder.

Jumin: Do you really think I’m frigid?

ZEN: I don’t have evidence that proves otherwise, so... 

Jumin: Hmm

Jumin: Fair point,

Jumin: You know, I could provide you with some.

ZEN: what

Jumin: what

ZEN: I’m going to leave now.

Jumin: Then, goodbye. 

ZEN: Bye… 

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom_.

* * *

 **This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.


	2. Are We A Cult?

**[new chatroom] Are we a cult?**

* * *

_707 has entered the chatroom._

_YOOSUNG* has entered the chatroom._  
  
YOOSUNG*: Hiya, Seven!

707: Hiya hiya

YOOSUNG*: Hiyayayayaya lol

707: Be serious in the presence of your elders, Yoosung. 

YOOSUNG*: Look who’s talking! lolol     
  
YOOSUNG*: Anyway

YOOSUNG*: Someone said something weird to me at school today;;

YOOSUNG*: And I can't stop thinking about it.

707: Oh

707: Give us the gossip!

YOOSUNG*: Us...???

YOOSUNG*: Why are you always referring to people who aren’t there?

YOOSUNG*: It’s scary  
  
707: Shh! 

707: It’s top secret ok  
  


YOOSUNG*: As I was saying… 

YOOSUNG*: I was gonna come home and jump on the computer of course 

YOOSUNG*: There’s a brand new server in LOLOL and I have to conquer it,,  
  
YOOSUNG*: I feel like I’ve been waiting for that update forever and it’s finally here!!

YOOSUNG*: So it’s time for me to flaunt my skills.  
  
YOOSUNG*: And be a stalwart knight!  
  
YOOSUNG*: A noble hearted warrior!  
  
YOOSUNG*: The true king of the LOLOL lands!

  
  
707: Yoosung,  
  
707: Sweet child of mine,

707: You’re getting off track^^

YOOSUNG*: Right, sorry;;

YOOSUNG*: So I was talking with you guys on the messenger earlier right?;; and this girl,

YOOSUNG*: A friend of mine from school actually,

707: lololololol

707: A GIRL?

707: Yoosung!

707: Yoooooooosung!!!

707: You’re able to talk to girls?

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._  
  


YOOSUNG*: That’s so mean;;;

YOOSUNG*: Oh, Jaehee’s here!

YOOSUNG*: Jaehee! Tell him to stop making fun of me~!

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung speaks with me often and I’m a girl.

707: Haha

707: I’m not sure you count, Jaehee 

Jaehee Kang: What is that supposed to mean?

YOOSUNG*: Ya?

707: whoa;;

707: yoosung + jaehee double attack!

707: before this turns into a boss battle with the two of you tag teaming to end me;;

707: yoosung, you should continue with your story^^!

YOOSUNG*: Okay!

YOOSUNG*: Anyway she was trying to peep into my phone because she thought I was playing LOLOL

YOOSUNG*: Even though they don't have a mobile version of the game.

YOOSUNG*: Any amateur would know that, really

707: …

707: She didn’t catch a glimpse of the messenger, did she?

YOOSUNG*: no

YOOSUNG*: I turned away rlly quick

707: Good.

707: If she had seen anything, we’d have no choice but to extradite her.

YOOSUNG*: What do you mean extradite her?!?!?;;

Jaehee Kang: He’s only joking.

707: No! Deadly serious!!

707: You remember the whole bomb fiasco…

707: If she were subject to sensitive information, V would probably have her compromised until she’d sworn herself to secrecy.  
  
707: Who knows^^?  
  
707: She’d maybe even have to be reeducated.

YOOSUNG*: A REEDUCATION!!!??   
  
707: I said maybe.

YOOSUNG*: omg! that’s so scary

YOOSUNG*: stop saying scary things

Jaehee Kang: Stop with the nonsense.

Jaehee Kang: Although Luciel is heavily exaggerating the consequences, I must agree that RFA’s information must not be leaked.  
  
Jaehee Kang: If any of our records were to fall into the wrong hands, it’d be a corporate nightmare. 

Jaehee Kang: Simply imagining it gives me a headache.

Jaehee Kang: I’d be drowning in paperwork…

YOOSUNG*: Well, she didn't see anything okay!!  
  
YOOSUNG*: So let's all chill out... 

YOOSUNG*: But

YOOSUNG*: She did laugh and ask me if I was part of a cult;;

Jaehee Kang: A cult?

YOOSUNG*: Obviously;! I shrugged her off… But

YOOSUNG*: To be honest  
  
YOOSUNG*: Sometimes RFA doesn't feel far from a cult,

YOOSUNG*: Rika didn't begin this with such an intention...   
  
YOOSUNG*: But maybe we’ve been corrupted along the way.

707: Hahaahaha!!!

707: We’re totally a cult!  
  


Jaehee Kang: No, we are not.

707: We’re a charity organization with all the makings of a cult!

707: Our guests are celebrities and renowned cats and fabled businessmen and drop dead gorgeous models!  
  
707: Think about our parties~  
  
707: So much importance packed into one room!

YOOSUNG*: But,;;

YOOSUNG*: It’s for the sake of good!

Jaehee Kang: You must not comprehend the true definition of a cult, so let me help you out.

Jaehee Kang: “A cult” is a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure or object.

707: I’m super religious;;

707: Amen!

707: Haha

707: I can’t stop laughing

707: My stomach hurts…

707: The RFA!!!

707: A CULT.

707: A 

707: C  
  
707: U  
  
707: L  
  
707: T

  
  
Jaehee Kang: Please stop spamming the chat.

707: The Great Hulk or Jaehee?

707: Scientists can't tell.  
  
YOOSUNG*: lolol

Jaehee Kang: Enough;;;

707: Okay,,  
  
Jaehee Kang: Sometimes, I cannot believe that you and I share the same religion.  
  
YOOSUNG*: And look at me;; I have no religion!

Jaehee Kang: Are you an atheist, Yoosung? 

707: I’ve told you many times…

707: I’m a devout catholic. 

Jaehee Kang: Sure.

Jaehee Kang: If my eyes roll any further, they'll pop out of my head.

707: We are a cult though.

Jaehee Kang: Stop saying that^^  
  
YOOSUNG*: I’m not sure what I believe in!!! I’m not sure of anything in my life;;; except for LOLLOL

YOOSUNG*: Within that world, everything makes much more sense

YOOSUNG*: What was that saying? The world is like my shrimp?

Jaehee Kang: You don’t mean…

707: I think it’s the world is your oyster.

Jaehee Kang: ^^

YOOSUNG*: My oyster! Yes!!

Jaehee Kang: You’ll figure out the real world when you start living in it.

Jaehee Kang: Get off the computer from time to time.

YOOSUNG*: Oh no….  
  
YOOSUNG*: You sound like my mom now;..!!

  
  
Jaehee Kang: Anyway,  
  
707: Anyway!!

707: People think we're a cult.

707: We worship the God of cats!!

707: And my dear sweet Elly!  
  
707: She stands our emblem, our deity,,,  
  
Jaehee Kang: Elizabeth the third would make a terrible deity.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Zen wouldn't be able to survive in such a world;;

Jaehee Kang: Oh^^!! And a world without Zen...  
  
Jaehee Kang: Would be hopeless and empty.

Jaehee Kang: This is all simply your hubris.

707: Ya

YOOSUNG*: I’m feeling a little light headed now;;  
  
YOOSUNG*: This conversation was a bad idea.

YOOSUNG*: I’m going to go play LOLOL

YOOSUNG*: My kingdom awaits!!!

707: See ya~~

707: Don’t join any cults while you’re away.

YOOSUNG*: Haha…

YOOSUNG*: I’ll try not to^^

YOOSUNG*: Bye guys!

_YOOSUNG* has left the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: Seven.

707: Oui?

Jaehee Kang: This is not a cult. What we do here, despite being controversial, is good work;;

Jaehee Kang: I expect you to know this already but...

Jaehee Kang: Don’t encourage such ridiculous notions.

Jaehee Kang: You know how gullible Yoosung can be.

707: Yes, ma’am!!

707: The master has spoken!

707: Soldier 707 will fall in line.

707: I should go now… 

707: I haven’t eaten anything in the past 6 hours;;

Jaehee Kang: How do you even sustain...?   
  
707: On PhD Pepper! 

Jaehee Kang: You need to take better care of yourself.

707: T A K E C A R E

707: Of myself??? 

707: Haha I don’t have the time to breathe,,

707: Let alone do that.

Jaehee Kang: Well, you seem to have plenty of time to mess around and make jokes that nobody understands on this messenger app.

Jaehee Kang: If you used that time to do something more productive;;  
  
707: I’m a multitasker!  
  
707: A magician!  
  
707: And also a pastafarian!

707: lolololol

707: Laterz

_707 has left the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: What…? I don't even know what that means.

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.  
_

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don't hesitate to leave me a comment and/or a kudos if you liked it. Thank you for reading!! <3


	3. Bad Dreams

A/N: All credit for the wonderful fanart displayed on here goes to its rightful creators and I do not take any claim over it.  **  
**

* * *

**[new chatroom] Bad Dreams**

* * *

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

_MC has entered the chatroom._  
  
_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._  
  
  
  
ZEN: God I’m so tired;

Jumin Han: Good morning everyone!  
  
ZEN: ugh  
  
ZEN: Never is when you’re here.

MC: Morning, Jumin.

ZEN: I hope you ate breakfast, MC.

MC: Of course. What’s got you so grumpy, Zen?

ZEN: I had a bad dream last night… 

ZEN: …And I can’t really get it out of my head.

Jumin: I had a perfectly adequate night.   
  
Jumin: After my meeting with the event management company, I shared a couple glasses of fine wine with Elizabeth the 3rd before hitting the sheets.

Jumin: We gazed at the full moon together from my balcony as I ran my fingers through her pearly soft fur and she purred contently in my lap… 

ZEN: Stop talking about your cat like it’s a girl!

ZEN: Seriously! It’s getting creepy;;

ZEN: Anyway nobody was asking you how your night went~~  
  


Jumin: Woke up with her by my side…

ZEN: AH~~!!

ZEN: MY EYES!

MC: Aw.

MC: I can’t believe you actually managed to create a wine that cats can drink,,

Jumin: Also cheese that cats can eat and glasses that cats can sip from.

MC: Your philanthropic dream come true!

Jumin: Indeed.

ZEN: Ugh… 

ZEN: Can we stop talking about that fur ball…

Jumin: Her name is Elizabeth the 3rd.

MC: Or Elly, for short!!

Jumin: Not Elly. 

Jumin: Seven really does have you under his spell.

ZEN: Or maybe he simply hacked into her brain?

Jumin: Or her heart.

MC: I think it’s cute when you two agree on something;;

ZEN: God;;;

ZEN: I don’t even want to think about it.

Jumin: What was the dream about?

ZEN: Are you curious?

MC: I’m curious, too.

Jumin: I’m simply bored at the moment and in dire need of a distraction. 

Jumin: I'm scheduled to have lunch with my father and his latest conquest, but they’re running late.

ZEN: Oh poor you~!

ZEN: All alone at a five star restaurant surrounded by other wealthy snobs like yourself,

MC: How long have you been waiting?

Jumin: Fifteen minutes.

Jumin: I believe that sometimes my father forgets that I have places to be, too. Oh well;

Jumin: Anything for family.

MC: So the dream, Zen…? 

ZEN: It was terrible… 

_YOOSUNG* has entered the chatroom._

MC: Did you dream a horde of giant alien cats were attacking you?

ZEN: That sounds like my worst nightmare;;

ZEN: But no.

ZEN: This was somehow worse…

MC: Hey, Yoosung! 

YOOSUNG*: Hi, MC! 

YOOSUNG*: lololol that picture Jumin sent

Jumin: Isn’t she stunning?

YOOSUNG*: I don’t know about that,   
  
YOOSUNG*: But it reminds me of this picture Seven sent me the other day… I have to show it to you guys lol

ZEN: ?

YOOSUNG*: So this is apparently what Elizabeth the 3rd would look like if she were actually human.

ZEN: That is so disturbing!!!

Jumin: She is…   
  
Jumin: Quite aesthetically pleasing.

MC: OMG!  
  
ZEN: I hate to admit it,

ZEN: She is beautiful.

ZEN: Still… 

ZEN: I think you made a mistake sending us that photo. Now Jumin is surely going to confuse his cat for a woman even more;;

ZEN: It’s not good for his sanity.

Jumin: Since when do you care about my sanity?

ZEN: God;

ZEN: Where does Seven even find this stuff?

YOOSUNG*: Beats me lolololol

YOOSUNG*: I just had to share it with you.

MC: God Seven probably summoned it through sheer force of will!

YOOSUNG*: Ohh!! Maybe

ZEN: …

Jumin: I cannot believe my father still hasn’t showed up.

Jumin: I wonder what’s keeping him.

MC: Maybe you should give him a call?

Jumin: No. I don’t want to disrupt him if he’s in the middle of something important. 

Jumin: This is not like him so I will assume he is busy;

Jumin: I’ll just wait here patiently. 

Jumin: Till then, Zen can enlighten us with the content of his dream.

YOOSUNG*: I once had a dream that I got a girlfriend! 

YOOSUNG*: And she was a gamer too!! 

YOOSUNG*: Then I woke up lol

YOOSUNG*: Now that I think about it;;

YOOSUNG*: It was a sad dream… 

MC: All I dream about these days is outerspace. 

Jumin: I don’t dream.

ZEN: Everyone dreams^^  
  
ZEN: Some people just have a faulty memory.

YOOSUNG*: I read once that people who recall their dreams more vividly have a higher IQ level than those who don't.

Jumin: Are you calling me stupid?

YOOSUNG*: No!

ZEN: lol;;

MC: The dream, Zen!!!

ZEN: I can't actually talk about it…

YOOSUNG*: Why not…?

ZEN: because

MC: Did someone who's here right now show up in your dreams~~? Haha.

ZEN: ya

YOOSUNG*: omg!!!

MC: Really?

Jumin: Interesting.

MC: So!!! Don’t leave us hanging?

YOOSUNG*: Yeah! Which one of us was it!?

ZEN: …

Zen: The trust fund kid~

Jumin: Oh?

Jumin: What was I doing in this dream of yours?

YOOSUNG*: Uh,, do you guys want to be left alone?

MC: lol I feel like we’re a third and fourth wheel all of a sudden…

Jumin: Oh please. That is not how I meant it.

ZEN: Like I said;;

ZEN: I don't want to talk about it.  
  
Jumin: Looks like dad’s here.

ZEN: Whew~

Jumin: Maybe we should continue this conversation later?

MC: Definitely. 

YOOSUNG*: Feels like unfinished business otherwise…

ZEN: Or not.

ZEN: And we can just… 

ZEN: Forget that I said anything. ever.

MC: But that’s no fun.

YOOSUNG*: Ya

ZEN: I have to ride the subway now,

ZEN: Yoosung, see you later.

ZEN: Take care, MC.

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

Jumin: I’m afraid I must depart as well. 

Jumin: Father’s here, with someone on his arm, as usual… 

Jumin: Goodbye for now.

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

__

MC: And then there were two…

YOOSUNG*: lolol I wonder what he was dreaming about… 

MC: You don’t think…? 

YOOSUNG*: I was thinking it too!

YOOSUNG*: But could it be~?

MC: I mean, it could be nothing. 

YOOSUNG*: Everyone has… those kinds of dreams, right?

YOOSUNG*: From time to time  
  
YOOSUNG*: I mean when you first showed up… 

YOOSUNG*: Wait. What am I talking about? 

YOOSUNG*: I should go get ready hahaha

YOOSUNG*: Class starts in ten minutes.

MC: Alright.

YOOSUNG*: Talk to you soon!

MC: Have a good class, bye!

 _YOOSUNG* has left the chatroom._  
  
_MC has left the chatroom.  
_

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Can you picture a certain plot unfolding? :)


	4. Dinner Party

**{new chatroom} Dinner Party  
**

* * *

_V has entered the chatroom._

_MC has entered the chatroom._

MC: Long time no see, V!

V: MC, hello.

V: I hope you’re doing well. 

MC: What have you been upto these days?

V: Just got finished with a photoshoot in Iceland. 

MC: That’s so cool!

V: I suppose so… 

V: I was actually thinking,

V: You’re indeed right. It has been awhile.

V: Since we all spent time together in person.

MC: The last party was only a few weeks ago, but it feels like it’s been years!

V: Indeed.

V: So I was thinking of maybe hosting a dinner party.

MC: An RFA dinner party for all the members? 

V: Just us, yes.

MC: At your place? That sounds like a great idea;;

V: We could have it at yours.

MC: I’d love to have everyone over. 

V: Yes?

MC: Of course. Seven will be so excited when I tell him.

V: Oh yes.

V: How is Luciel doing?

MC: Much better since he got Saeran back. 

V: Ah, yes. We should have him join us, too. 

MC: That's a given. We hardly go anywhere without him these days;;

V: Integrate him into the group if he so wishes.

V: Seven is family after all, so that makes Saeran equally important.

MC: I agree.

V: It was good speaking with you, MC. 

V: I hope the others are doing well. 

MC: Everyone misses you!

V: Yes…

V: I apologize for keeping so very busy,

  
  
V: I’m hoping to make up for it at the dinner party. 

MC: Would you like to set a date?

V: Any day next week?

MC: Sounds perfect.

V: It’ll be good to have everyone together under the same roof again. I hear Zen and Jumin have been even more at an odds than is usual;; 

MC: They’re definitely exceeding their regular quota. 

V: Hmm.

V: Hopefully a night of food and drink will help solve that.

V: I will, of course, personally speak with both of them.

MC: You definitely should. Even if they fight each other, they both infinitely respect you.

V: Thank you for saying that.

V: They mean a lot to me as well.

V: Then, I should be off.

MC: Gone like the wind! 

V: I’m sorry.

MC: That’s okay. Try to pop back in soon!

V: I’ll try.

V: Goodbye, MC.

V: It was nice talking to you.

MC: Same here!

_V has left the chatroom._

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

MC: Hiya Zen

ZEN: MC!  
  
ZEN: You’ve gotta be kidding me;

ZEN: Did I just miss V?

MC: The V-train has taken off for the next station.

ZEN: Gahhh~~ Everytime!

MC: Did you see what he said?

ZEN: About the dinner party?

ZEN: Yeah;

ZEN: Sounds like something we all need to be honest,

ZEN: But also a recipe for disaster.

MC: What makes you say that?

ZEN: Well,,

ZEN: Saeran might have some difficulty adjusting to all of us;; 

ZEN: And that spoonfed jerk will be there.

ZEN: That’s never a silver lining.

MC: Cheer up, Zen~

ZEN: You’re right^^

ZEN: Frowning is not good for my facial muscles.

ZEN: Can you imagine my beautiful face, reduced to atrocious wrinkles?

ZEN: I have a very intensive skin care routine;;

ZEN: It's aimed to guarantee I won’t have any wrinkles... 

ZEN: Even when I’m 50!

MC: Haha, you have got to share your routine with me~

ZEN: But of course, lovely lady!

ZEN: I’m always happy to share my beauty secrets, not that you need any, of course.

ZEN: I just enjoy spreading my knowledge on the topic;

ZEN: As an actor, I have to maintain my timeless looks^^

ZEN: Oh… My director’s calling,

ZEN: These breaks always feel so short. 

ZEN: I can’t believe I missed V but…

ZEN: I’ve got to get going.

MC: Goodbye, lovely Zen!

ZEN: You have a nice day!

ZEN: Bye!

_Zen has left the chatroom._

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

__

MC: Why is everyone coming and going one by one?

Jaehee Kang: Hello.

MC: Hi, Jaehee. How's work?

Jaehee Kang: Work is the same.

Jaehee Kang: But things are about to get a lot worse;;  
  
Jaehee Kang: I received a phone call from Mr. Han just now, and he's leaving Elizabeth with me again this evening.

MC: Oh no!

Jaehee Kang: Another Friday night I must sacrifice to this increasingly demanding job...

Jaehee Kang: When will I ever have time to myself...

MC: Considering this is the fifth one in a row, he really should give you a pay raise.

Jaehee Kang: He does offer me compensations every now & then,,  
  
Jaehee Kang: But you're right.

MC: If only he let me have her... 

Jaehee Kang: It's not you Mr. Han is worried about, it's Seven.

Jaehee Kang: As you two spend a lot of time together...

Jaehee Kang: And Elizabeth the 3rd has a restraining order against that cat abuser.

MC: We have two cats and I monitor him when he plays with them.

Jaehee Kang: That is one cat too many. 

MC: He doesn't abuse them;; He just has a bit of an extreme way of expressing love. 

Jaehee Kang: You would know.

MC: ...

Jaehee Kang: So V was here.

MC: Yes, he suggested I host a dinner party.

Jaehee Kang: I see.

MC: What do you think, Jaehee?

Jaehee Kang: While not profitable, I suppose everybody could use a break;;

Jaehee Kang: A night in with friends.

MC: That's what I was thinking!

Jaehee Kang: I sincerely hope Zen and Mr. Han don't turn it into an excuse for a wrestling match though...

MC: V's going to be there, they'll behave.

Jaehee Kang: I do hope so~

Jaehee Kang: I'd like to meet Saeran as well and get to know him a little better.

Jaehee Kang: Mostly from a business perspective, I do have to keep tabs on everybody the RFA is associated with;

Jaehee Kang: It's difficult since he has threatened the very semblance of our institution in the past...

MC: Jaehee... I know you don't trust easy, but can't you let bygones be bygones?

Jaehee Kang: Yes, I just need time.

Jaehee Kang: That is why it would be a good opportunity to clear some of the air;;

Jaehee Kang: In fact, I was wondering,

Jaehee Kang: Maybe we could have him join the messenger.

Jaehee Kang: You know, if he ever wants to chat with us.

MC: Oh! I hadn't thought of that. 

Jaehee Kang: It'd be good for him, right?

MC: I'll talk to Seven and see what he has to say, but yeah, I think so as well.

Jaehee Kang: I have to go now and collect that cat... 

Jaehee Kang: She'll be staying at my place tonight since Mr. Han has a flight to Morocco he's catching in three hours.

Jaehee Kang: Wish me luck;;

MC: Good luck, Jaehee~~ It'll be okay!

Jaehee Kang: Thank you.

Jaehee Kang: Go to bed early if you can, okay?

Jaehee Kang: Then, goodbye.

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

MC: Does anyone else want to randomly pop up on me?

MC: ....

MC: Guess not;; Whew.

_MC has left the chatroom.  
_

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you're liking it so far. Thank you for reading and please leave me a comment if you think I should keep this going at all. <3


	5. CRISIS

**[new chatroom] CRISIS!**

* * *

  _Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

_Yoosung* has entered the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung.

Jaehee Kang: Are you up late gaming again?

Yoosung*: I can’t sleep!!^  
  
Yoosung*: Sever maintenance again

Jaehee Kang: typo

Yoosung*: I think I’m going to go crazy

Yoosung*: It’s been a whole 23 hours!?

Yoosung*: That’s like... an entire day.

Jaehee Kang: Not quite.

Yoosung*: It never takes this long for them to get the servers back up again… 

Yoosung*: Ever since I started up all this volunteer work I’ve barely had the time to play my game >.<

Yoosung*: And when I finally sit down to play…

Yoosung*: I'm struck with

Yoosung*: Server maintenance!

Yoosung*: Ahhh

Yoosung*: Jaehee

Yoosung*: Help!

Jaehee Kang: Don’t you have school tomorrow?

Yoosung*: Ya

Yoosung*: I do…

Yoosung*: But that's not what's important right now~

Jaehee Kang: In that case, you should get some shut eye and stop worrying about games.

Yoosung*: But,

Yoosung*: I can’t sleep.

Yoosung*: Soon, I’m going to start having withdrawal symptoms again.  
  
_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

Jumin: Hello.

Jaehee Kang: Mr Han. 

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung is having another midnight crisis. 

Jumin: Is that so?

Jumin: It’s quite a shame, he never seems to grow up.

Jumin: After all I’ve done for you, Yoosung… 

Yoosung*: Huh;;

Yoosung*: All you’ve done for me???

Yoosung*: lol

Yoosung*: All you've ever done is call my mother on me and lecture about how I should learn to control my emotions better!

Jumin: Exactly.

Jumin: A supportive gesture and sound advice.

Jumin: I see nothing wrong with either.

Yoosung*: Helpful, right!

Yoosung*: OMG~ 

Yoosung*: I’m still having war flashbacks from the last time you tried to 'help' me.

Jumin: Oh please. 

Jumin: You admitted to everyone that it changed you for the better.

Jumin: Except it seems that you have bounced back. 

Jumin: My father says that some people are like springs, 

Jumin: No matter how hard you push down on them,

Jumin: They always bounce right back up.

Jumin: I suppose it is the price of gravity. 

Jaehee Kang: I’m not sure that’s what he meant when he told you that.

Jumin: It can still be applied here.

Yoosung*: I don’t know what you’re talking about~!

Yoosung*: I just wanna go back to my beloved LOLOL!!!!

Jumin: We really need to get you a girlfriend.

Yoosung*: lololol look who’s talking

Yoosung*: Captain Frigid!

Jumin: Do not address me like that.

Jumin: Zen’s ridiculous comments couldn’t be further from the truth.

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

Jumin: Speak of the devil.

Yoosung*: OHHH MYYY GODDD 

Yoosung*: I think the server finally loaded~!

Yoosung*: I’m off to rage all night upon a legendary quest!

Yoosung*: Don’t go gentle into that good night, my fellow mortals!

_Yoosung* has left the chatroom._

Jumin: …

Jumin: I might have to give his mother a follow up call.

Jaehee Kang: Hello, Zen. What are you doing up at this hour?

Jaehee Kang: You know you require your beauty sleep. 

Jaehee Kang: I worry about the state of your skin.  

ZEN: Jaehee, hey.

ZEN: I know, I’ll hit the sheets soon;

ZEN: I just needed to go on a ride to clear my head. 

ZEN: This past day’s shoot has been very demanding. 

ZEN: I don’t even have the energy to insult that Corporate Bastard~~

Jumin: I’m pretty sure “corporate bastard” constitutes as an insult.

Jaehee Kang: I’m sorry to hear that. 

Jaehee Kang: But I do hope you’re taking care of your health. 

Jaehee Kang: Riding a motorcycle can be dangerous on its own, but to go out on a ride when you’re feeling emotional… 

Jaehee Kang: I hate to say it but it increases chances of an accident.

ZEN: Don’t worry, Jaehee. 

ZEN: I would never intentionally do anything to damage the proportions of my angelic face^^

Jumin: That’s the thing about accidents,

Jumin: They’re accidental. 

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han has got a point.

ZEN: ‘Mr. Han’ is just looking for ways to piss me off.

Jumin: You’re not wrong.

Jumin: It is quite amusing watching you get flustered.

ZEN: Hahaha ha 

ZEN: YOU;;;

ZEN: Don’t make me flustered.

Jumin: Sure I don’t.

ZEN: Was that sarcastic?

Jumin: No way.

Jaehee Kang: I should get going. I have to be up at six tomorrow.

Jaehee Kang: You should rest too, Mr. Han.

Jaehee Kang: You have that meeting with the CEO of microloft scheduled first thing tomorrow. 

Jumin: Ah yes, about that. 

Jumin: The meeting has been pushed back to 12.30. 

Jumin: I plan to play some virtual golf before then.

Jumin: You still have to be at the office, though. I have some documents I’m going to need you to look over,

Jumin: And have you write up a few reports. 

Jumin: I also need you to take a look at the eventual indenture he proposes to me, I don’t want to sign anything without having it examined throughly.

Jaehee Kang: Of course.

Jaehee Kang: Anything else?

ZEN: Good God!

ZEN: Cut Jaehee some slack from time to time, asshole

Jumin: Only if you’re willing to compensate for her by filling her position. 

ZEN: Was that a joke

ZEN: That was a terrible joke

Jumin: And now that I think about it, yes.

Jumin: I’d also like you to drop by the cat restaurant in the morning and grab some gourmet meals for Elizabeth. 

ZEN: CAT RESTAURANT?

ZEN: Just thinking about it makes me want to lapse into a sneezing fit...

Jaehee Kang: The latest in a long line of Mr. Han's very... intuitive cat projects. 

Jumin: Elizabeth the 3rd only consumes the most exquisite range of catfood. 

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, you do know that does not fall into my job requirements? 

Jumin: Just get it done.

Jaehee Kang: Great!

Jaehee Kang: I’m off to bed.

Jaehee Kang: I have a long day of feline duties ahead of me~!

Jaehee Kang: Goodnight, Zen. 

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

ZEN: Why do you have to be so hard on her?

Jumin: Hard?

Jumin: All I ask of her is for her to do her job adequately. 

Jumin: I pay Assistant Kang generously, so this should be expected.

Jumin: Besides, she doesn't complain. 

ZEN: Not in front of your face~

Jumin: Why are you always so worried about her anyway?

ZEN: It’s pretty simple really.

ZEN: I’m a caring dude.

Jumin: Why waste your time on something as trivial as the welfare of somebody else when you have your own life’s problems to deal with?

Jumin: Zen.

Jumin: Do you have feelings for her?

ZEN: WHAT?!

ZEN: No.

ZEN: It’s called demonstrating humanity;  
  
ZEN: Not a concept you could ever wrap your robot brain around.

ZEN: Not everyone can afford to be as cold as you.

Jumin: I perfectly comprehend the concept of humanity.

Jumin: Humanity is subjective.

Jumin: The way I see it, humanity is being there for my family and treating others fairly.

Jumin: As long as I stick to my principals, I am quite satisfied in myself. 

ZEN: Right!

ZEN: I’m sure that you are;

ZEN: God;

ZEN: Where do rich snobs like you get off?

ZEN: Preaching at other people?

Jumin: Is that truly all that you think of me?

ZEN: Honestly?

ZEN: I never know what to think of you.

Jumin: Maybe if you truly got to know me, you’d come to see things differently.

ZEN: Why~?

ZEN: I already feel like I know you from head to toe.

Jumin: This is false.

Jumin: You only know the side of me that I choose to show you.

ZEN: Then show me.

Jumin: Do you really mean that?

ZEN: …

ZEN: No,

ZEN: It’s late;;

ZEN: I’ve had a long day^^

ZEN: And I don’t know what I’m talking about.

ZEN: Good night, Jumin.

Jumin: Ha.

Jumin: Alright then.

ZEN: What?

Jumin: Look at that.

ZEN: ?

Jumin: You referred to me by my actual name instead of using a childish insult. 

Jumin: I wonder what possessed you. 

Jumin: Sleep well.

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

__

ZEN: Ugh!!~

ZEN: That jerk.

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.


	6. Make A Wish

**[new chatroom] Make A Wish**  
****

* * *

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

_MC has entered the chatroom._

ZEN: Hey, MC!

MC: Hello Zen! How are you?

ZEN: I’m doing awesome, thank you.

ZEN: I hope you’re doing good, too.

ZEN: Isn’t the sky such a perfect shade of blue today?

MC: It looks like the same blue to me.

ZEN: Hmmph~  
  
ZEN: Really?

ZEN: Maybe I’m just imagining it.

MC: You seem to be in an awfully good mood today^^  
  
ZEN: Haha;

ZEN: Ya, I do. Don’t I?

ZEN: I signed an acting contract today! And not only that but,

ZEN: I’m going to be working alongside one of my all time favorite directors!!

ZEN: He is someone I’ve idolized since I was a kid.

ZEN: And now I’m going to play a role in his new feature film...

ZEN: I’m not trying to brag or anything,  
  
ZEN: But I can barely contain my excitement!

MC: Wow, Zen. I’m so happy for you!

ZEN: Also that Tripter bot Seven set up?

ZEN: It’s been blowing up;;

ZEN: So many supportive comments…

ZEN: It’s all making me a little emotional.

MC: I’m glad. You deserve it :)

ZEN: That’s the thing;;;

ZEN: Sometimes I’m not sure I do.

ZEN: But thank you for saying that regardless <3

MC: Why do you say that?

ZEN: Hmm… 

ZEN: It doesn’t matter.

ZEN: Today I want to focus on the positive!

ZEN: You know…

ZEN: I don't talk a lot about this but

ZEN: After I ran away from home, I never thought I’d see a day like this.

ZEN: Who knew there was still so much hope in the world?

MC: There’s always hope left in the world, especially when you're passionate about something.

ZEN: Right right?

ZEN: Truer words have never been spoken.

ZEN: People like Jumin would never understand;

MC: I don’t know… Maybe Jumin has his own passion?

ZEN: Yeah, like what?

ZEN: Bossing people around?

ZEN: Flaunting his wealth?

ZEN: Or just being cold?

ZEN: Jumin is like a vampire lolollol

MC: Aren’t you being a bit harsh?

_707 has entered the chatroom._

ZEN: Am I???

ZEN: I’m not trying to be;;

ZEN: I’m just stating how I feel...

ZEN: Oh, Seven’s here!!

ZEN: Seven!!!

707: ZEN!!!

707: PEN

707: HEN

MC: MEN, YEN, DEN, TEN!

707: TEN MEN COUNTING YEN IN A DEN

MC: You're a genius omg!!!~

707: lolol 

707: That’s my girl.

707: I’m glad my Tripter’s still being of help.

ZEN: Your commentary is so creative, it’s almost as if you have the mind of a girl;;

707: Hahaha

707: Ya.

MC: The Almighty God Seven has the mind of all beings! 

707: Oh

707: The Almighty MC has the prettiest eyes!

707: And has in her possession the heart of an Almighty God!  
  
707: Does that make her even mightier than him…? 

ZEN: Please stop shoving your love directly in my face.

ZEN: You guys are cute but…

ZEN: You forget that the rest of us are painfully single;; 

707: oops

MC: Sorry! 

ZEN: Ahhhh it’s okay

ZEN: I feel bad now for muffling your love... 

ZEN: Go nuts you crazy kids~!!

ZEN: I’m in too good a mood to feel bad about anything.

MC: That’s so nice to hear.

707: It’s really cool though;;  
  
707: Your childhood wish came true?

ZEN: I know!

ZEN: This is about to sound really cliche but…

ZEN: It feels like the work of some greater force!

707: My work lol

707: Twas me~  
  
MC: It’s true. He can reprogram people into doing as he pleases, you know.

707: Ya

ZEN: Seven that dude;;

ZEN: He really did boost my fame.

ZEN: I don’t know if I’ve sincerely thanked you for that before…  
  
ZEN: If I have I’ll say it again,,  
  
ZEN: Thank you~

707: Awwww  
  
707: You’re making me blush!

707: Don’t mention it

707: Defender of Justice mode!

707: I am always ready to help!  
  
707: Forever in service of the people,,  
  
707: The Seven Party!

MC: For the people, by the people.  
  
707: True democracy in action lolol

ZEN: But anyway...

ZEN: I could go on talking about myself for hours…

ZEN: How are things with Saeran? 

ZEN: Seven

ZEN: You must’ve spoken with V?

707: What about?

MC: He’s referring to the dinner party I was telling you about earlier. We all think it’s a good idea to have Saeran join us, it might help bring back some normality into his life...

707: Oh~

707: I don’t know about that… 

707: Haha

ZEN: I can’t make promises on behalf of Mr. Future Chairman but I know that the rest of us will do everything it takes to make him feel like he can trust us;;  
  
ZEN: And make him feel accepted.

MC: I’m sure Jumin understands the gravity of the situation… 

707: Jumin takes his time warming up to people tho.  
  
707: And my brother isn’t exactly a puppy.

707: He's an acquired taste, haha. 

MC: If only he was a cat… 

ZEN: lolol

ZEN: Then your brother would be even more at risk because Jumin would probably fall in love with him~

707: oh

MC: lolololol

707: this begs the age old question…

707: DOES

MC: JUMIN  
  
707: HAN

MC: IS

707: GAY??

ZEN: Or just a cat molester?

MC: Too far…?

707: Such synchronicity! 

707: Nooooooooo but then he has no right to say I abuse cats

  
  
707: Would I ever abuse my Elly?

707: She’s my princess...  
  
707: My snow white...

707: The queen of my heart!

707: MC;;  
  
707: Sorry babe

707: ily

707: But Elly comes first.

MC: Of course, but you’re going to have to start sharing your love for Elly with me, because she’s my sweet little princess too.

ZEN: If Jumin were here he'd be having a stroke triggered by the amount of times you two refer to his cat by the wrong name... 

MC: It's not the wrong name, it's the better name.  
  
707: The Superior name!  
  
707: Anyway...

707: OoOoo

707: haha~

707: we can find a compromise, i’m sure

ZEN: Enough with the fur ball!!!

707: Zen

707: Tell me  
  
707: How do your allergies act up by the mere mention of cats?

707: Is it biological?  
  
707: That seems unlikely…  
  
707: Is it mental?  
  
707: Definitely more plausible…  
  
707: I wonder what Mr. Director would think!

ZEN: Who cares what he thinks;;

MC: I think it requires a bit of suspension of disbelief when it comes to Jumin and cats. He refuses to believe that it’s even possible for someone to be allergic to such celestial beings.

707: Yes!! lolol

707: You hit the hammer on its head!

707: And whiskers and tail!

ZEN: Seven?

707: Oh captain, my captain!

ZEN: You’re evading my question, right?

707: The page you have requested cannot be found.

ZEN: What is he doing right now...? 

707: This server has timed out.

ZEN: Would it really be so bad for Saeran to get an idea of what we’re all like?

ZEN: He obviously needs the social exposure;; 

MC: V and I haven’t really set a date yet.

ZEN: He’s probably MIA again.

707: Unable to connect to the internet.  
  
707: Please check your internet connection and try again.

ZEN: Lol we get it stop.

707: Check any cables and reboot any routers, modems or other network devices you may be using.

MC: Troubleshoot? 

ZEN: Ahhh… Not you, too!!!

ZEN: Sometimes I feel like you both live on another planet than the rest of us.

707: Restoring data…

707: 5%  
  
707: 12%  
  
ZEN: Oh my god;;;

MC: 58%  
  
707: 80%  
  
ZEN: Should I just ride this out… 

ZEN: Or should I leave

MC: Don’t leave us, my unicorn!!!

707: 93%  
  
MC: 100%  
  
707: Data Restoration Complete!

ZEN: I don’t want to be in the middle of this weirdo sandwich;;;

707: Oh no no

707: Look…

707: I’ll think over it.

707: MC thinks it's a good idea, she might manage to convince me lolol

707: I’ll try and talk to him as well.

ZEN: Invite him onto the messenger. 

707: I suspect he’s already hacked his way into it…

ZEN: Again?!

707: Just kidding…!!!

707: Gotta go

707: I have some things I have to take care of.

707: I’ll talk to you guys later.  
  
707: MC?  
  
MC: Yeah babe?  
  
707: Try not to lose your mind without me, ok?

MC: I don't know if I'll manage, but I'll try my best not to.

707: Haha

707: God

707: Isn’t she cute?

ZEN: Ya

707: OH

707: How dare you call another man’s girl cute!!

ZEN: …

ZEN: You seemed like you wanted me to agree with you so…

MC: So you don’t genuinely think that I’m cute? Wow, I’m hurt, Zen. 

ZEN: Gahhhh;;;

ZEN: I don’t understand what’s going on.

707: lolol chill 

707: Jokes!!!

707: G2g for realz now though

MC: See ya later, alligator 

707: G’day 

_707 has left the chatroom._

ZEN: Sometimes it’s like you two have the same mind…

MC: Shit~ Who let you in on the whole mindmeld secret? Did Jumin tell you?

ZEN: Haha knew it all along^^  
  
ZEN: Anyway I have an interview with another modeling agency in a few

ZEN: I’m still so happy

MC: Go get em’, tiger

ZEN: I will!

ZEN: MC,,

ZEN: I wanted to give you a bit of advice 

ZEN: If there’s something that you really want, something that seems impossible now…

ZEN: Just close your eyes one night, face the night sky;

ZEN: And make a wish,

ZEN: It has to be genuine though…

ZEN: Really think long and hard about it.

ZEN: Then believe in it.  
  
ZEN: And think that whoever is up there in the heavens who controls these things~  
  
ZEN: Is willing to meet you halfway,  
  
ZEN: Like a bridge^^  
  
ZEN: Then start working towards it with everything that you’ve got.  
  
ZEN: And I guarantee you, that wish will come true.

MC: Zen that’s actually… Really nice advice.  
  
ZEN: You think so?  
  
MC: Yes!! Thank you for sharing that with me, it made me all warm inside. 

ZEN: Of course. 

ZEN: I really do think that… Sometimes things work out for the better.

ZEN: And that all those hard times we go through,  
  
ZEN: They eventually lead us here, to where we’re meant to be.

ZEN: Because even though I may be superior to everyone physically since nobody can beat my looks;;  
  
ZEN: I do believe we’re all equal on an important level...  
  
ZEN: And destined for great things.

ZEN: Anyway

ZEN: Sorry for being all sentimental and rambling on^^

ZEN: I’ve got to go now. 

ZEN: You take care, MC. Alright?

ZEN: Goodbye.

MC: Bye, my humble unicorn!

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

_MC has left the chatroom._

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These are actually so fun to make. What do you think so far? P.S All credit for the wonderful fanart displayed on here goes to its rightful creators and I do not take any claim over it.


	7. Drunk Yoosung

**[new chatroom] Drunk Yoosung**  
****

* * *

_Yoosung* has entered the chatroom._

_MC has entered the chatroom._  
  
_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

Yoosung*: afg17::jhshh  
  
Yoosung*: H ow to t*opye word s  
  
ZEN: We're not being hacked again, are we?  
  
Yoosung*: no9pe sorry hii

MC: Yoosung… Are you okay?

ZEN: Ya;;  
  
ZEN: You’re not making any sense.

MC: Hey lovely Zen!  
  
ZEN: Hello

ZEN: Hope you’re having a good evening.

Yoosung*: n,oo  
  
Yoosung*: i am not ok

Yoosung*: haha ha i disont remmed er ever beinng ok;;.

ZEN: Yoosung,

ZEN: Type slower^

ZEN: You have so many typos I feel like I’m trying to decipher the DaVinci Code.

MC: Did something happen? You're usually so positive…

ZEN: Ya  
  
ZEN: I hate to recommend this but...

ZEN: If you’re feeling down, just go play LOLOL. That usually cheers you right up~

Yoosung*: do you guys  
  
Yoosung*: ever think i’ll be playing LOL OL when I’dmd i990  
  
MC: Okay hate to burst your bubble but nobody lives that long.  
  
ZEN: How are you deciphering his speech patterns~  
  


Yoosung*: 90*   
  
Yoosung*: when i’m ol d basically and i’ve played it to a point where I've unlocked every level every DLC everything;;  
  
Yoosung*: the game is to offer

Yoosung*: and never get a girlfriend…

ZEN: Oh no.  
  
MC: Yoosung…  
  
ZEN: He’s drunk.

MC: Oh my god.  
  
Yoosung*: yepppppo  
  
Yoosung*: hahaha

ZEN: It’s only 7.30 pm!!!  
  
ZEN: Why are you drinking right now??  
  
ZEN: And don’t you have school tomorrow?  
  
Yoosung*: ya  
  
MC: Oh, Yoosung. You shouldn’t be drinking, my baby boy.

Yoosung*: MC, please don't call me that.

Yoosung*: like this… “baby”  
  
Yoosung*: you sound like my mom  
  
Yoosung*: girls alleys say that i’m cute :(  
  
ZEN: Always*  
  
Yoosung*: nobody likes1 being called "'cute"  
  
Yoosung*: and they only seem to mean it like Im a child…  
  
Yoosung*: like… i’m something they wanna pet  
  
Yoosung*: they talk to me  
  
Yoosung*: in the way that seven talks to elizabeth the 3rd;;

Yoosung*: Why can’t people see me as handsome like zen or funny like seven or even intelligent like jumin  
  
Yoosung*: Can i not be endearing?   
  
Yoosung*: or hot or charming?

MC: Don’t belittle yourself. You have your own charms.  
  
ZEN: MC is right^^  
  
ZEN: Plus

ZEN: You really shouldn’t compare yourself to me.

ZEN: I am beautiful to the point of absurdity.  
  
ZEN: Absolutely nobody can top me when it comes to my good looks;  
  
ZEN: It is almost otherworldly, really.  
  
ZEN: Maybe I come from another planet?  
  
ZEN: A planet of angels… Yes, it would only be fitting.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: ;;  
  
ZEN: And Jumin? Intelligent? lolol  
  
ZEN: Best joke I’ve heard all day!  
  
MC: Zen, I don't think you’re helping right now.  
  
ZEN: Oh…!!  
  
ZEN: What I mean is,,,  
  
ZEN: Yoosung, you have plenty of attractive qualities of your own.  
  
MC: Right, and you really shouldn’t be comparing yourself to other people. It’ll only bring you down.  
  
ZEN: And you shouldn’t be drinking this early…  
  
ZEN: What are you even drinking?!  
  
Yoosung*: rich coming from you  
  
Yoosung*: i've seen your fridge  
  
Yoosung*: you sip on beer like its water!!!  
  
ZEN: Yes, but I am a lot healthier than you.  
  
ZEN: I work out.

ZEN: The most exercise you get is when you stretch your fingers in between LOLOL battles.  
  
ZEN: Or change the batteries on your remotes.  
  
MC: You’re not still drinking, are you?  
  
Yoosung*: no… bottle's empty now;;  
  
Yoosung*: all gone!!! hahaha  
  
Yoosung*: pOOF!

ZEN: Where did you even get your hands on drinks…

Yoosung*: see this is my point!!!!

Yoosung*: it’s liek everybody jus forgets Im a grown adult too  
  


ZEN: Maybe because you don’t behave like one.

Yoosung*: i can go and buy my own drink sit i want!  
  
ZEN: You can't even type properly.

Yoosung*: Im in college and i live alone so i have nobody to care of me  
  
Yoosung*: Nobody to tell me what i can't do  
  
Yoosung*: So I do what I want.

MC: That’s not true. I care about you. We all do.

ZEN: Yes^^

ZEN: Don't say such things

ZEN: We’re always here for you and you know that.  
  
ZEN: Here at the RFA, we’re like a makeshift family.  
  
ZEN: And Yoosung, you know that you’re a lightweight, right?  
  
ZEN: I thought you made me a promise last time, that you wouldn't drink when I wasn’t around?  
  
Yoosung*: shuuuusshhh!!!! you narcissistic primadonna!  
  
   
  
ZEN: I wasn’t even being narcissistic just now…  
  
Yoosung*: and

Yoosung*: and

Yoosung*: whats up with all that white hair anyway; huh?  
  
Yoosung*: u look like a shih tzu  
  
_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._  
  
Jumin: Lol

ZEN: OMG;;  
  
ZEN: Why did you have to show up?  
  
MC: More importantly, did Jumin just LOL?  
**  
** Jumin: Yes.  
  
Jumin: Zen does actually kind of look like a shih tzu, no?  
  
  
  
MC: So cute! lolol  
  
ZEN: Shut up, you jerk!!!!  
  
ZEN: Yoosung is going through something right now.  
  
ZEN: He needs compassionate people all around, like MC and I for example.  
  
ZEN: You have no need to be here.  
  
Yoosung*: hello mr director sir!

Jumin: Interesting. That’s perhaps, the most respect you’ve shown me… Well, ever.  
  
Jumin: I could adhere to this version of you, Yoosung.

  
  
MC: Careful, your Gap moe is showing;;

ZEN: Just go away~  
  
Jumin: Don’t tell me what to do.  
  
MC: Not right now, you two.  
  
ZEN: Whatever;;

MC: I’m starting to get worried about Yoosung.  
  
ZEN: Me too…  
  
ZEN: Yoosung,  
  
ZEN: Do you need me to come to where you are?  
  
Yoosung*: Huh  
  
Yoosung*: I dont need a babysitter…1!!  
  
ZEN: I just want to take care of you.  
  
Yoosung*: no  
  
MC: Yoosung… Zen just wants to help.

Yoosung*: Why… Why don't u come and see me, MC??????   
  
MC: I would. I really would. But you know that Saeyoung and I have our hands tied with this whole Saeran situation at the moment…  
  
Yoosung*: Seeee

Yoosung*: i dont mean anything to anyone…  
  


  
  
Yoosung*: and there,, further i fall into the deep dark abyss of depression

  
  
Jumin: Quit overreacting and drink some water.  
  
Jumin: If necessary, I’ll send Assistant Kang over to you.

Jumin: Take advantage of her diligence and have her cook you a nutritionally balanced meal.  
  
Yoosung*: ohhh  
  
Yoosung*: I miss my moms cooking  
  
Yoosung*: but i even pushed her away…  
  
MC: Please don't be sad, Yoosung.  
  
ZEN: Jumin...  
  
ZEN: That's awfully thoughtful of you.  
  
Jumin: I can be thoughtful.  
  
ZEN: That’s a shocker.  
  
  
  
MC: But your thoughtfulness is misplaced;  
  
ZEN: Lol MC is right yet again^^  
  
Jumin: How so?

ZEN: Jumin, you don’t send your assistant to go check on your friends when you’re worried about them.  
  
Jumin: You do not?  
  
ZEN: No you do not  
  
ZEN: You go and check on them yourself.  
  
Jumin: In person?  
  
ZEN: Yes.  
  
MC: Is that really a baffling concept for you, Jumin?  
  
Jumin: Indeed it’s quite…  
  
  
  
Jumin: I don't get it.

Jumin: Assistant Kang is resourceful and knows how to properly take care of someone in need.  
  
Jumin: Zen has first-hand experience of this…  
  
Jumin: It would only be practical for me to send her.  
  
Jumin: What could I provide that she couldn’t?  
  
Jumin: Not to mention I’d have to find a way to get out of my dinner meeting with my financial advisor in an hour.  
  
MC: Jumin, would you say that you and Yoosung are close?  
  
Jumin: I suppose so?  
  
Yoosung*: we are besties

Jumin: Would not go that far.  
  
MC: I love Jaehee, but her relationship to Yoosung would be different to yours. Do you see what I mean?  
  
Jumin: Not really.  
  
ZEN: Give up on explaining it, MC  
  
ZEN: He is impossible and...

ZEN: Selfish as always;;  
  
ZEN: And people call me egotistic.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: Why cant everyone just get along…  
  
Yoosung*: Thjis world we live in is too cruel sometimes.  
  
MC: Please cheer up, Yoosung.  
  
ZEN: That’s it.  
  
ZEN: I’m coming to you.  
  
Yoosung*: o  
  
Yoosung*: u don't have to do that  
  
ZEN: I have to make sure you're okay.  
  
Yoosung*: i’ll survive  
  
Yoosung*: …probably  
  
ZEN: Don’t hold it against me if I don’t take your word for it.  
  
MC: Good, Zen!! Please hurry.  
  
ZEN: Ya  
  
ZEN: I’m hopping on my motorbike as we speak.  
  
ZEN: shit  
  
ZEN: Where is my helmet?  
  
Jumin: Do not bother.  
  
ZEN: Excuse me?  
  
Jumin: I have sent Assistant Kang a text to reschedule my meeting.  
  
ZEN: WHAT  
  
Jumin: And I’ve just alerted Driver Kim.  
  
Jumin: We will come pick you up in the car in 20 minutes.  
  
Jumin: Actually,  
  
Jumin: Make that 15.  
  
Jumin: We’ll reach faster if we take the expressway.  
  
ZEN: What is going on…  
  
ZEN: ??  
  
MC: I think… And this is just a wild guess… Jumin wants to help?  
  
Jumin: That is correct.  
  
Jumin: We can go to Yoosung together.

Jumin: After all, two heads are better than one, yes?  
  
Jumin: And with Yoosung’s pathetic whining, I’m willing to bet that he needs all the company he can get right now.  
  
Yoosung*: oh/  
  
Yoosung*: jumin…  
  
Yoosung*: i didn’t know you had a heart~  
  
ZEN: lololol  
  
ZEN: I didn’t either…  
  
ZEN: This is crazy.  
  
MC: You’re doing a good thing, Jumin.

  
ZEN: What about your work?  
  
Jumin: Work is a constant thorn in my side,  
  
Jumin: I need a breather anyway.  
  
ZEN: I can ride my bike twice as fast and reach there on time though,

ZEN: So I don’t think I’ll be needing your help but thanks.

Jumin: You underestimate Driver Kim’s abilities.  
  
Jumin: Why can’t you just accept my help for once, Zen?  
  
Jumin: You’re always accepting assistance from others;  
  
Jumin: At this point it just feels like you have a vendetta against me.

  
  
ZEN: It’s not a vendetta;  
  
ZEN: It just doesn't feel right.  
  
ZEN: I just  
  
Jumin: You just what?  
  
Yoosung*: things r getting so tense…  
  
MC: Ya;  
  
Yoosung*: I feel like a bomb’s about to go off  
  
MC: Achk! Don’t even talk about bombs.  
  
Yoosung*: oh right forry bad memories  
  
ZEN: I just think you need to understand that you can’t just throw money at a problem and expect it to go away.

Jumin: Is that what you think I’m trying to do when I offer up to you my generous assistance?  
  
ZEN: Kind of?  
  
Jumin: Why would I want to get rid of you? You are a respectable member of the RFA.  
  
Yoosung*: whoa  
  
MC: whoa seconded  
  
ZEN: whoa thirded  
  
ZEN: I think that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.  
  
MC: I think that might be the nicest thing he’s ever said in his entire life.  
  
Jumin: You people are the ones to always make me out to be some kind of monster.  
  
Jumin: I am practical yes.  
  
Jumin: And a vertical thinker.  
  
Jumin: I play things smart.  
  
MC: Because he’s afraid of getting hurt.  
  
ZEN: Is that true, Jumin?  
  
Jumin: …  
  
Jumin: Elizabeth is about to doze off…  
  
Jumin: Ever since Mint Eye I’ve tripled the security around the house and Elizabeth even has her own personal bodyguard now.

Jumin: So I shouldn't be worried about leaving her alone for a bit.  
  
MC: Aw!!! Perfect. Elly’s safety must be guaranteed.  
  
Jumin: Get her name right.  
  
Jumin: But indeed.

  
  
Yoosung*: i sense that you are trying to change the subject  
  
Yoosung*: but i m wasted so what do i know lol  
  
Jumin: Alright. Now that she’s purring elegantly in her dreams I’m going to come and get you.  
  
Jumin: Don't try to argue with me any further and be ready, Zen.  
  
Jumin: MC, take care of yourself.  
  
Jumin: Yoosung. Hold tight.  
  
Jumin: I’ll be on my way, then.  
  
_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._  
  
ZEN: What in the world just happened;  
  
MC: I think we just witnessed a rare instance of Jumin Han demonstrating compassion.  
  
ZEN: Wow;;  
  
ZEN: Do you think hell is freezing over as we speak  
  
MC: Probably.  
  
ZEN: Well, I better get going, too then.  
  
ZEN: Guess Jumin is coming to get me  
  
ZEN: Gahhh~  
  
ZEN: Feels so weird, saying that,  
  
ZEN: Yoosung, buddy. You still with us?  
  
Yoosung*: ya…..  
  
ZEN: Please don't do anything stupid.  
  
ZEN: And no more drinking.  
  
ZEN: Have some water or yogurt or something to calm yourself.  
  
ZEN: You're not feeling nauseous at all, are you?  
  
Yoosung*: not yet  
  
ZEN: Good.  
  
ZEN: We’ll see you soon, alright?  
  
Yoosung*: right  
  
ZEN: Then, talk to you later, MC.  
  
MC: Please keep me updated.  
  
ZEN: Will do!  
  
_ZEN has left the chatroom._  
  
Yoosung*: i cant belief they're actually coming to checkup on me  
  
MC: You better believe it then. Yoosung… You’ll find somebody someday, I promise, but until then… You have a group of people who love and care for you.

Yoosung*: yu really think so?

MC: I mean, you got Jumin Emotionally Constipated Han to postpone work just to make sure that you’re doing okay. I hope you can find some comfort in that.  
  
Yoosung*: it wasnt my intention to make everyone fuss over me  
  
Yoosung*: i feel more like a baby than ever  
  
MC: Don't feel bad. We all struggle sometimes. Just don't be afraid to reach out for, and accept the help of others.  
  
Yoosung*: Thanks MC  
  
Yoosung*: i feel a little better now hearing you say that~  
  
  
  
MC: Don't even mention it.  
  
Yoosung*: i;m goona go try and get sober while i wait for jumin and zen 

Yoosung*: maybe i should clean up before they get here  
  
MC: Alright. Don’t strain yourself.  
  
Yoosung*: i wont  
  
Yoosung*: bye bye  
  
MC: Take care and let’s talk soon.  
  
Yoosung*: ^^  
  
Yoosung* Yiou got it!  
  
_Yoosung* has left the chatroom._  
  
_MC has left the chatroom._ **  
**

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.  
** I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential. **  
** SIGN. **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave me a comment if you liked it!


	8. Aftermath

**[new chatroom] Aftermath**

* * *

_Zen has entered the chatroom._

_MC has entered the chatroom._

MC: Zen! Is anything on fire?

ZEN: lololol  
  
ZEN: We’re good!

ZEN: We put the baby sheep to sleep.  
  
MC: So Yoosung is going to be okay?  
  
ZEN: He's probably going to wake up feeling like he got sucker punched by a military tank;;  
  
ZEN: But yeah.  
  
MC: Awww  
  
ZEN: He was really embarrassed when we got there^  
  
ZEN: And I think Jumin might be all Niced out.  
  
  
  
ZEN: He actually looks tired  
  
ZEN: Like whatever part of his brain is responsible for simple human empathy is running low on fuel lol  
  
MC: Why are you wearing sunglasses at nighttime?   
  
ZEN: So that I don't have to stare directly at Jumin lolol  
  
ZEN: Kidding  
  
ZEN: It was just for the selfie.  
  
_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._  
  
MC: Jaehee!  
  
ZEN: Hey, Jaehee.  
  
  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han can be so impulsive sometimes.  
  
Jaehee Kang: It was rather unlike him to push back such an important meeting.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Chairman has hired one of the best financial advisors in the business for him,  
  
Jaehee Kang: Which means he won’t be available for another month at best.

ZEN: Jumin says he’ll be fine and not to worry.  
  
ZEN: Apparently he thinks he’s...  
  
ZEN: and I quote, ‘perfectly adequate at managing his own finances’ 

Jaehee Kang: lol  
  
Jaehee Kang: That’s coming from someone who hires people to take out the trash;  
  
Jaehee Kang: I need another coffee.  
  
MC: Cheer up, Jaehee~  
  
MC: I’m actually weirdly proud of Jumin for taking one step closer to being a person  
  
ZEN: He’s still got a long way’s to go lolol  
  
Jaehee Kang: Tell Mr. Han I’ve forwarded him several emails that require his urgent attention.  
  
ZEN: Ugh tired of playing messenger  
  
ZEN: I’ll get him to come online  
  
MC: So are you guys heading back now?  
  
ZEN: I’m going to crash at Yoosung’s but I don’t know what that jerk is going to do now that he’s cancelled all his plans for the night  
  
ZEN: I hope I don’t get stuck with him,  
  
_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._  
  
Jumin: You were just insulting me.  
  
ZEN: What else am I supposed to do?  
  
ZEN: Fawn over you?  
  
Jumin: That would be quite pleasing, yes.  
  
ZEN: -_-  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han.  
  
Jumin: Right. What is it, Assistant Kang?  
  
Jumin: Why are you pestering me?  
  
  
  
Jaehee Kang: Perhaps because of your impulsive decision to abandon your work.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Your father won’t be pleased.  
  
Jumin: Need I remind you who provides you with your paycheck every month?  
  
Jumin: Here’s a helpful hint: not my father.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Why do I even bother…  
  
Jumin: I’ve decided that I might as well enjoy my night off now that I no longer have to help babysit Yoosung.  
  
Jumin: The moon is out.  
  
Jumin: It’s a lovely night.   
  
Jumin: I think I might actually go for a drive.  
  
  
  
MC: Jumin… DO NOT.  
  
Jaehee Kang: No!  
  
ZEN: NO!!!!!!!  
  
Jumin: Oh relax, I won't be the one driving.  
  
ZEN: But you gave Driver Kim the leave for the evening, did you not?   
  
ZEN: Do you have some sort of a back-up driver that shows up at your every beckon call? You rich bastard;;  
  
Jumin: No.  
  
Jumin: You’ll be the one driving.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, not to sound out of line, but did you happen to eat something funny today?  
  
ZEN: Say what  
  
  
  
ZEN: lol are you out of your mind?  
  
ZEN: Why would I drive you of all people anywhere!?!?!  
  
ZEN: Don't treat me like a chauffeur! I’m a famous actor for crying out loud!  
  
Jumin: I wouldn't use the term ‘famous' that liberally.  
  
ZEN: You jerk!!  
  
MC: I have to admit, I'm kind of surprised too.  
  
Jumin: I guess I’ll just be driving myself then…  
  
ZEN: Ya  
  
ZEN: Go  
  
ZEN: Get yourself killed for all I care  
  
MC: … A bit harsh;  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, not only will you be putting yourself at risk, but other vehicles on the road will also be in danger.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Have some consideration.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Zen, please do not allow him to venture out on his own at this time of day. Especially when he’s like this.  
  
MC: I have to agree with Jaehee on this.  
   
ZEN: ugh  
  
ZEN: I hate it when you have a point  
  
ZEN: I don't want to be called to the court hearing when this dude eventually runs some old lady over  
  
Jumin: Is that a yes?  
  
ZEN: That’s a ‘you gave me no choice’  
  
Jumin: I see no difference.   
  
Jumin: Let’s go.  
  
ZEN: Now?  
  
Jumin: Would you rather have me shake you awake at 3 am?  
  
ZEN: I don’t usually go to bed that early anyway;  
  
ZEN: No? What am I saying? Let’s get this over with  
  
Jumin: Smart decision.  
  
Jumin: Look. It'll be a good time.  
  
Jumin: We can sip on wine.  
  
ZEN: I prefer beer.  
  
Jumin: Ah yes, a commoner's poison of choice.   
  
ZEN: Do you really want to make the mistake of pissing me off just before allowing me to be responsible for your life??  
  
Jumin: Fine. We can have beer.  
  
ZEN: ...  
  
_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._  
  
Jaehee Kang: Okay then?  
  
  
  
ZEN: I’ll talk to you guys later I guess  
  
MC: Bye Zen!  
  
Jaehee Kang: …Goodbye.  
  
ZEN: Take care.  
  
ZEN: I thought I only had to keep one person from doing something stupid tonight…  
  
ZEN: Guess I was wrong.  
  
_ZEN has left the chatroom._  
  
MC: What just happened?  
  
Jaehee Kang: I… I must admit, I’m not quite sure myself.  
  
MC: lol I feel bad for Zen  
  
Jaehee Kang: For someone who claims to have no feelings, Mr. Han sure does have a lot of whims.  
  
  
  
MC: I’m convinced Jumin is actually a big ol’ softie on the inside. He just doesn’t know how to show it!  
  
Jaehee Kang: I highly doubt that.  
  
MC: You should get some rest, Jaehee. It seems like you’ve had quite a day.  
  
Jaehee Kang: That is indeed true…  
  
Jaehee Kang: I should definitely get going.   
  
Jaehee Kang: What are you going to do now, MC?  
  
MC: I’m going to get myself a take out dinner and then go bug Saeyoung.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Alright. You should eat better than that, though.  
  
MC: Right back at ya.  
  
Jaehee Kang: MC...  
  
MC: Yeah?  
  
Jaehee Kang: I won’t lie, I’m a little bit worried about Zen;  
  
MC: Don’t be. He’s not going to let Jumin take the wheel.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Logically, I know this, but I still worry. It is awfully late at night and the road is littered with drunk drivers…  
  
MC: They’ll be fine, Jaehee. Try not to lose your mind over it, okay?  
  
Jaehee Kang: Yes, yes. You’re right, as always.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I know! I’m going to go load up one of Zen’s latest musicals, it’s not out on blu-ray yet but I’ll have to make due.  
  
MC: Alright, you go do that.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I hope they keep us updated.  
  
MC: They will.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Thank you for always being the voice of reason, MC.  
  
  
  
Jaehee Kang: Then, I’ll be off.  
  
MC: Don't sweat it.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Goodbye!  
  
MC: Laterz  
  
_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._  
  
_MC has left the chatroom.  
_

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN. _  
_


	9. RIP 707

**[new chatroom] RIP 707**

* * *

_Saeyoung has entered the chatroom._  
  
_Yoosung* has entered the chatroom._  
  
_MC has entered the chatroom._  
  
_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._  
  
Saeyoung: Oh, oh.  
  
Saeyoung: It’s getting crowded now!  
  
  
  
Saeyoung: Come and bear witness!  
  
Jaehee Kang: What are you muttering on about?  
  
Yoosung*: lol are you putting on a show  
  
Saeyoung: Something like that.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: OMG!!!!  
  
Yoosung*: You changed your display name!!  
  
Jaehee Kang: He was bound to do it sooner or later.  
  
MC: Shh! Guys. Sit back and enjoy the show.  
  
Saeyoung: Hear ye! Hear ye!  
  
Saeyoung: Gather round! Gather round!  
  
Saeyoung: Young and fair! Old and stout!  
  
MC: Grab some popcorn!  
  
Yoosung*: so dramatic lol  
  
Saeyoung: Welcome! Welcome to the funeral of 707.  
  
Jaehee Kang: What are you saying?  
  
Saeyoung: Today, we’re mourning the life and consecutive death of a beloved friend, and yet, foe to many.  
  
Saeyoung: Seven-zero-seven.  
  
Saeyoung: His time, I’m afraid, has come to an untimely end.  
  
Saeyoung: He was stalwart and true but alas... feared by many.  
  
  
  
Saeyoung: The greatest hacker of his time!  
  
Jaehee Kang: Okay, I don’t have the time for this.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han will blow a gasket if I don’t have this report ready by 5 o clock.  
  
Saeyoung: He was intelligent and quirky, and though not many a man appreciated the true charms of his elegant humor...  
  
Saeyoung: One fine day… One fair maiden came along…  
  
Saeyoung: To challenge his wits,  
  
Saeyoung: Steal his heart and some of his hair…  
  
MC: Do I make you lose your pretty sunset hair…?   
  
Yoosung*: lol but you’re literally the same person why are you mourning yourself?  
  
_Saeran has entered the chatroom._  
  
Saeyoung: Am I?  
  
Saeyoung: It doesn't feel like it.  
  
Saeyoung: Anyway… Where was I? Oh right;  
  
Saeyoung: But he was tortured, and hid dark secret a many.  
  
Saeyoung: He was afraid to show his true self to his friends,  
  
Saeyoung: Afraid that they would see him for who he really was…  
  
Saeyoung: Disgruntled and lonely. Merely a shell of a man…  
  
  
  
Saeran: Seriously?  
  
Yoosung*: Hello, Saeran!  
  
MC: Saeran!!! You came.  
  
Saeran: Is this why you asked me to log in? So that I'd make myself privy to his ridiculous antics?  
  
Yoosung*: I actually think he's being heartfelt…  
  
Saeyoung: Ya  
  
Saeyoung: Don't be a brat  
  
Jaehee Kang: Saeran, hello. I don’t believe we’ve met before.  
  
Jaehee Kang: This is your first time joining us this chatroom, yes?  
  
Saeran: Technically no, haha...  
  
  
  
Saeran: Don’t bother adding my name to the logbook or whatever… I’m leaving.  
  
MC: Why?!  
  
Saeran: Because this is stupid.  
  
Saeyoung: But this maiden... She made him see something in himself he'd never recognized before...  
  
Saeyoung: Persuaded him that he was enough,,  
  
Saeyoung: That Saeyoung could be enough.  
  
Saeyoung: 707 was fun while he lasted...  
  
Saeyoung: But I wanted to finally show the real me to all of you.  
  
Yoosung*: Stopppp  
  
Yoosung*: You’re actually gonna make me cry;;  
  
Yoosung*: Too late!  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: Already crying now.  
  
MC: Give us a chance, Saeran. Please?  
  
Saeyoung: One last time…  
  
Saeyoung: Here lies Defender of Justice 707!  
  
Saeyoung: May he rest in cat heaven.

  
  
MC: Beautiful :’)  
  
Saeran: Hmmm  
  
MC: I’m proud of you, babe.  
  
Saeyoung: OooOoO!!  
  
Saeyoung: Did everyone see that??  
  
Saeyoung: She’s proud of me!  
  
Saeyoung: This conversation can never be erased, you know  
  
MC: Doesn’t ever have to be.  
  
Saeran: Get a room.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I can tell that you’re not just making jokes.  
  
Jaehee Kang: That this truly is something that’s coming from the heart.

  
  
Jaehee Kang: We will all respect your decision from here on out, Saeyoung.  
  
Saeyoung: She didn't refer to me as Luciel!!  
  
Saeyoung: Have I successfully melted the ice wall between the two of us, Jaehee??

Saeyoung: Yayayayayay.  
  
Saeyoung: And we already have a room, bro dearest;  
  
Saeyoung: In fact, we’re currently in it…  
  
Saeyoung: Naked.  
  
  
  
MC: No we’re not!!!  
  
  
  
Saeran: Gross.  
  
Saeyoung: lolololol  
  
Saeyoung: Just teasing him.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I’ll take that as my cue.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Oh, welcome to the RFA, Saeran.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Goodbye for now.  
  
_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._  
  
Yoosung*: So… Saeran  
  
Saeran: What.  
  
Yoosung*: How’s it going? What have you been upto since…  
  
Saeran: Since I tried to sabotage all of you?  
  
Yoosung*: Uh… That’s not what I was going to say  
  
Saeran: Sure, but you were probably thinking it.  
  
Saeyoung: Abort abort!  
  
Saeyoung: Please! Let’s all just do some trust exercises.  
  
MC: Saeran… Haven’t we talked about this? I know that after everything that’s happened… And everything that you've been put through, none of this is going to be a quick process, but you’ve got to at least try.  
  
Yoosung*: Whoa… are you guys really a ‘we’ now?  
  
Saeyoung: She's right.  
  
Saeyoung: Assimilating isn’t impossible.  
  
Saeyoung: Unless you’re still upset with me…

Saeran: I don’t want to be like this in front of all of your friends but there’s always going to be a little part of me that’s going to be upset with you.  
  
MC: Why? It wasn’t his fault and he’s tried to make up for it. Over and over again! He’d do anything to have been there for you throughout those trying times if he could and you know it.  
  
Saeyoung: I’m touched, I really am, but it’s okay. Calm down, MC... He’s not wrong.  
  
Saeyoung: Of course there’s a part of you that’ll always be upset with me but I think that’s justified.  
  
Saeyoung: There’s a part of me that’ll always be upset with me for letting all of this happen in the first place…  
  
Yoosung*: But there’s nothing any of us can do about it now though!!  
  
  
  
MC: Exactly. So why not try and make the best out of an ugly situation?  
  
Saeran: I’m sorry.  
  
Saeran: I just need some more time.  
  
Saeyoung: You can have all the time that you need. I’ll be here.  
  
MC: We’ll be here.  
  
Saeyoung: MC…  
  
Saeyoung: Why are you so good to me?  
  
MC: What kind of a stupid question is that? Because I love you.  
  
Saeyoung: Oh…  
  
Saeyoung: My heart just exploded.  
  
Saeyoung: Shit  
  
Saeyoung: Who’s going to clean up this mess now?  
  
Saeyoung: I’m going to have to scrape bits of my heart off the walls now…  
  
Yoosung*: You two are so cute!!!! I’m so jealous.  
  
Saeran: What are you jealous of? Try living with them. They're insufferable.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: You can come stay with me if you want lol  
  
Saeran: What?  
  
Yoosung*: I mean like… I don’t have a roommate and I live alone which is pretty boring so  
  
Yoosung*: I can introduce you to games!!!  
  
Yoosung*: Have you heard of LOLOL?  
  
Saeyoung: Best not to introduce him to LOLOL  
  
MC: It might actually be a productive outlet for all his pent up rage…  
  
Yoosung*: Ya  
  
Saeyoung: I doubt it  
  
Saeran: You people have to stop talking about me like I’m not here.  
  
Saeran: The offer is kind of tempting though.  
  
Saeran: These two do this annoying thing where they'll call each other up and talk on the phone even when they're standing inches away from one another!  
  
  
  
MC: It's romantic.  
  
Saeran: It’s lame.  
  
Saeyoung: Yoosung, don't roll out the red carpet for him just yet lol  
  
Saeyoung: I haven't deemed him fit for society yet  
  
Saeyoung: He might try to run away again.  
  
Saeran: Weren’t you just saying something about trust?  
  
Saeyoung: All in good time, grasshopper…  
  
Saeyoung: All in good time.  
  
Saeran: Whatever. I’m going to go get some ice cream.  
  
Yoosung*: But it’s lunchtime!  
  
Saeran: So?  
  
Yoosung*: lolol  
  
Yoosung*: I want ice cream for lunch too!  
  
Saeran: You should try it sometime. It’s blissful.  
  
Yoosung*: Oh yea…!  
  
Yoosung*: What flavor do you suggest  
  
Saeran: All ice cream is feasible, but lately, I’ve been torn between mint chocolate chip and butterscotch.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: Oooh yum!  
  
Yoosung*: Both tempting choices.  
  
Saeyoung: There’s a sandwich in the fridge for you. Eat that first.  
  
Saeran: Whatever.  
  
_Saeran has left the chatroom._  
  
Saeyoung: God;;  
  
MC: Are you okay?  
  
Saeyoung: I mean… That wasn't a total disaster, right?  
  
Saeyoung: Right.  
  
Saeyoung: At least he bonded with our cutie Yoosung.  
  
Saeyoung: You keep doing you, boy  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: Haha! Okay!! 

Yoosung*: Ugh but now i’m craving ice cream…

Yoosung*: They only have foods that look like cow dung served at our cafeteria;   
  
Yoosung*: I want something sweet!!!  
  
MC: Bite into yourself  
  
Yoosung*: Oh…  
  
Yoosung*: You guys are making me blush!  
  
Saeyoung: Yoosung.  
  
Yoosung*: Ya?  
  
Saeyoung: What do you think of Saeran?  
  
Yoosung*: I think you guys should definitely bring him to V’s dinner party so that we can all finally meet him.  
  
Yoosung*: I think it’ll be better for him to feel more comfortable with us if he’s met us in person you know  
  
Yoosung*: I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for him,  
  
Yoosung*: I had a happy childhood but Zen often talks about his rough past and so sometimes I am shocked by how trusting he is;;  
  
Yoosung*: But everyone can’t cope like Zen.  
  
MC: That is true.  
  
Saeyoung: He’s been kind of reluctant, but the fact that he joined the chatroom in itself has reinstalled me with hope.  
  
Saeyoung: At first, I really wasn’t so sure but now…  
  
Saeyoung: I think I might be able to convince him to come after all^^  
  
MC: And if you feel like you can’t get through to him, I’ll take things into my own hands.  
  
Saeyoung: Yes ma’am!  
  
Saeyoung: You’re a real trooper.

MC: For you, always.  
  
Saeyoung: We are definitely a cringeworthy lovey dovey couple now  
  
MC: Who cares?  
  
Saeyoung: Valid point.  
  
  
  
Yoosung*: Ya doesn’t bother me lol  
  
Saeyoung: My honey bunch,  
  
Saeyoung: My sugar plum,  
  
Saeyoung: The apple of my eye!!!  
  
Saeyoung: The key that unlocks my heart!  
  
Saeyoung: The crumpet to my baguette!  
  
MC: Are we french now? Hahah  
  
Saeyoung: Are we bothering you yet  
  
Yoosung*: Nope  
  
MC: 110-000-110 & 111-000-111 can have a shared burial plot then.  
  
Saeyoung: Oh my god I love you so much.  
  
Saeyoung: Look at the time. Crap!  
  
Saeyoung: I need to get going.  
  
Saeyoung: I hope you guys enjoyed the funeral  
  
Saeyoung: Ashes to ashes and all that ;)  
  
MC: Why do you insist on calling it a funeral?  
  
Saeyoung: Hmm?  
  
MC: I see it more as a rebirth.  
  
Yoosung*: Ooooh yup yup!  
  
Yoosung*: Like a phoenix from the ashes.  
  
Saeyoung: I stopped breathing just now  
  
MC: Nooo don't do that  
  
Saeyoung: I need to come see you like right now  
  
MC: Then come see me.  
  
Saeyoung: Okay!!! Tonight. Alright? I’m planning us a special dinner and everything.  
  
MC: Alright.  
  
Saeyoung: MC…  
  
Saeyoung: Thank you,  
  
MC: Oh, shush.  
  
Saeyoung: You, too. Yoosung.  
  
Yoosung*: Saeyoung  
  
Yoosung*: It’s going to be a bit hard adjusting to that name of yours  
  
Yoosung*: But I will do my best!  
  
Saeyoung: Good boy  
  
Saeyoung: Seriously though I’m really grateful to both of you  
  
Saeyoung: Alright, enough of the sentimental nonsense  
  
Saeyoung: Defender of Justice 707 is off to rescue angels from all the burning buildings!  
  
Saeyoung: And Saeyoung… Will be on his way into the arms of his maiden.  
  
MC: You can stop calling me maiden now.  
  
Saeyoung: So cute lol  
  
Saeyoung: See you soon, honey  
  
Saeyoung: Take care, Yoosung  
  
Saeyoung: Now I shall bid you, adieu  
  
_Saeyoung has left the chatroom._  
  
Yoosung*: Wow  
  
MC: What is it?  
  
Yoosung*: It’s just…  
  
Yoosung*: I think it’s been a very long while since I’ve seen him this happy…  
  
Yoosung*: You are so good for him, MC  
  
  
  
MC: He's good for me too  
  
Yoosung*: You two are goals haha  
  
Yoosung*: I hope someday I can have a relationship like yours…  
  
MC: You have so much love to give, Yoosung. I have no doubt that you someday will.  
  
Yoosung*: Ahhhhh that means a lot ~!  
  
Yoosung*: I have to go get ready for my next class now…  
  
Yoosung*: But it was good talking to you.  
  
MC: Catch you later.  
  
Yoosung*: And MC?  
  
MC: Yeah?  
  
Yoosung*: Take good care of him, okay  
  
MC: Always.  
  
Yoosung*: Hopefully Saeran will join us too and stop giving you guys such a hard time...  
  
MC: I believe everything will work out eventually.  
  
Yoosung*: Yeah?  
  
Yoosung*: I will believe so too.  
  
Yoosung*: Then, talk to you soon!  
  
MC: Bye!  
  
_Yoosung* has left the chatroom._  
  
_MC has left the chatroom.  
_

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.  
** I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential. **  
** SIGN. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Since we don't have the Saeran route yet this portrayal of Saeran is completely based off my own fanon imagination lol but hopefully it's still accurate...ish.  
> \- Don't worry, we'll be back to Gay Hour with Jumin Han and Hyun Ryu next time!  
> \- Please don't hesitate to leave me a comment if you liked it.  
> \- Once again. All fanart credit goes where credit is due.


	10. Meow

**[new chatoom] Meow  
**

* * *

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: Zen…  
  
ZEN: Hey, Jaehee  
  
ZEN: How are you this afternoon?

Jaehee Kang: I… 

Jaehee Kang: I just don’t understand;; 

ZEN: Hmm?

Jaehee Kang: Is he blackmailing you?

Jaehee Kang: What is he holding over your head?

Jaehee Kang: You must tell me in order for me to help you.

Jaehee Kang: Oh,,

Jaehee Kang: Oh no

Jaehee Kang: I swear I’ve caught him reading a book on the Dark Arts in the past…

Jaehee Kang: He isn’t hypnotizing you, is he!?

ZEN: Calm down, Jaehee

ZEN: I’m not being hypnotized or threatened. 

Jaehee Kang: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE UNDER HYPNOSIS WOULD SAY  
  


ZEN: Jaehee… 

Jaehee Kang: Then… I just don’t understand. 

Jaehee Kang: Why would you say yes to modelling for Mr. Han's cat line?

ZEN: Don’t worry, I’m still not thrilled at all by the idea

ZEN: But

ZEN: Jumin managed to convince me.

Jaehee Kang: How ?

Jaehee Kang: Surely Mr. Han would not stoop to flattery;

ZEN: Well he did say that it would be most beneficial to both my career and the company if I did it^^

ZEN: He also said I’m the only one he trusts to do it,  
  
ZEN: He said he will only be professional from here on out when it comes to us working together. That he won’t abandon me.

ZEN: There's gonna be a shit ton of outtakes but Jumin has agreed to be as accommodating to me as possible.

Jaehee Kang: And just like that? You agreed to do it?

Jaehee Kang: Are you sure there wasn’t anything fishy involved…

Jaehee Kang: I know that I’m walking a very thin line here, accusing my boss of something awful but… 

Jaehee Kang: He didn’t offer you anything to eat or drink, did he?

ZEN: Jaehee. 

Jaehee Kang: Sorry.

ZEN: Don't worry!

ZEN: He didn’t slip anything into my drink.

ZEN: And… I don’t think he’s doing it because he wants to use me  
  
ZEN: And I don’t feel opportunistic doing this since it was my decision to model for his cat project in the first place

Jaehee Kang: Your decision…? 

ZEN: Yes.

ZEN: He was offering me a different job, but in that I realized that he genuinely sees something in me.

ZEN: I can’t believe I’m saying this but

ZEN: I think that trust fund jerk recognizes my talent.

Jaehee Kang: But of course.   
  
Jaehee Kang: Everyone at the RFA does.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Zen, your talent shines brighter than the sun.

Jaehee Kang: Everything else just orbits around it.

ZEN: Oh

ZEN: Wow

ZEN: I don’t even know what to say to that…

ZEN: Thank you, Jaehee

ZEN: For always supporting me.

ZEN: Can you support me now with this too?

Jaehee Kang: If… If that is what you truly want, then yes. I will.

Jaehee Kang: When did you two even discuss all this?

ZEN: On the drive late last Tuesday night.

ZEN: After Yoosung’s entire drunken fiasco.

Jaehee Kang: I see

_Saeyoung has entered the chatroom._

Saeyoung: Meow!!!!

Saeyoung: Meow meow!!!!

ZEN: STOP.

Saeyoung: meow meow meow ~  
  
Saeyoung: Zenny 

Saeyoung: Zenny are you going to be Juju’s kitty?

ZEN: Dude yuck

ZEN: You make it sound so… 

Jaehee Kang: Gay?

ZEN: AHHH~  
  
Saeyoung: lolololol

ZEN: Jaehee~!!

Jaehee Kang: Haha…   
  
Jaehee Kang: Just kidding.

Saeyoung: DOES JUMIN HAN IS GAY

Saeyoung: DOES JUMIN HAN IS GAY FOR HYUN RYU??

ZEN: SHUT UP!!!!!

ZEN: Just shut up, Saeyoung.

ZEN: I swear to god I will ride to wherever you are and beat you up in front of MC.

Saeyoung: LOL,,,,  
  
Saeyoung: Someone’s getting defensive.

ZEN: I am not!!!!!

Saeyoung: Guilty conscious then?

ZEN: Also not!

ZEN: God,,   
  
ZEN: Speaking with you is impossible.

ZEN: You may have changed your name but you're still as crazy as 707;;

ZEN: I thought you were leaving that lame humor behind.

Saeyoung: Lame?   
  
Saeyoung: Now I'm officially hurt. 

Saeyoung: Anyways yay!!! Yay yay  
  
Saeyoung: I’m honestly really happy you're modeling for Jumin's cat project.

Jaehee Kang: I swear this entire company is turning into Cats Incorporated...   
  
Saeyoung: You’ll do a fantastic job, Zen.  
  
ZEN: Yeah;; when I’m not sneezing my face off… 

Saeyoung: It won't be so bad!

Saeyoung: Maybe we can get you one of those darth vader masks…   
  
ZEN: -_-  
  
Jaehee Kang: -_- seconded  
  
Saeyoung: I’m gonna put out the announcement for all your fans to see through the Tripter later today

Saeyoung: Get hype!

ZEN: I am only doing this out of… Loyalty to the RFA.

Jaehee Kang: I guess it would benefit the RFA if you and Mr. Han collaborated on such a big project. Potentially, we could see a rise in both profit and contributing parties… 

Saeyoung: Ya

Saeyoung: Plus a rise in stock prices 

Saeyoung: Then please invite me to the luxury condo you and Jumin book out together!

  
  
ZEN: Why would I ever get a place with that jerk;;  
  
ZEN: We may be business partners, but that’s all   
  
Saeyoung: That's all?   
  
Saeyoung: Lol get rekt Jumin

ZEN: What?  
  
Jaehee Kang: I believe what Saeyoung is trying to get at is that you wouldn’t, surely, be willing to go out of the way like this for someone who you didn’t consider at least a friend.

ZEN: I guess we’re friends. 

ZEN: I still hate him a little bit though;  
  
Saeyoung: Hate is just another form of love!!!  
  
Saeyoung: —playboy magazine, 2017  
  
ZEN: Stop reading that stuff.

Jaehee Kang: Seriously, it’s terrible.

Saeyoung: Ya I know

Saeyoung: I love it.

ZEN: So… Let’s just talk about something else.  
  
Saeyoung: But cats!!!!  
  
Saeyoung: OMG.

Saeyoung: Are you gonna wear the costume too?

Saeyoung: And the cat ears?  
  
Saeyoung: Will you let the makeup artist draw whiskers on your face?   
  
ZEN: Just thinking about it is making my nose itch…   
  
ZEN: God.  
  
ZEN: Hope I don’t regret this.   
  
Jaehee Kang: You can back out at any time.

Jaehee Kang: You do not owe Mr. Han anything.

ZEN: As ridiculous as a lot of Jumin's cat related business ventures are, I believe this one has half the profit being donated to various cat shelters around the world.

ZEN: It is ultimately for a good cause.

Saeyoung: Yes yes yes

Saeyoung: Save the cats meow! 

ZEN: I told them I want them to give me a stuffed cat or something 

ZEN: If I cradle a real life cat to my chest I swear I’ll probably die...

Saeyoung: Drama queen you won't die.  
  
Saeyoung: They’ll still probably need to keep an ambulance on site though lololol   
  
Saeyoung: Hey

Saeyoung: HEYHEYEHEY

Saeyoung: I’ve just had a brilliant idea!

Saeyoung: I am seriously a genius.  
  
Saeyoung: Gotta love it haha-!  
  
Jaehee Kang: I would take everything Saeyoung says with a grain of salt…

ZEN: ?

Saeyoung: MY ROBO CAT

Saeyoung: USE MY ROBO CAT MEOW

Saeyoung: You couldn’t possibly be allergic to a hunk of metal;  
  
ZEN: The one you created for MC?

Saeyoung: Ya   
  
Saeyoung: She’s really an intelligent little thing   
  
Saeyoung: She speaks seventeen languages and   
  
Saeyoung: Can recite the entire history of the first and second world war to you if you want.  
  
ZEN: Why would I want...

Saeyoung: She doesn't have claws so she can't scratch,  
  
Saeyoung: She won't bite.

Saeyoung: She doesn’t even smell like a cat!

Saeyoung: Plus I think it will look so cool in the ad campaign lol

Saeyoung: What do you think?;??

Jaehee Kang: Actually… That is not a terrible idea.   
  
Jaehee Kang: As long as you promise the thing doesn't breathe any fire like your last creation…   
  
Saeyoung: Nahhh   
  
Saeyoung: Just frost  
  
Jaehee Kang: It breathes frost?

Saeyoung: Sure.

Jaehee Kang: Well then, that is a safety hazard.

Saeyoung: Jokes!!! ahahaha  
  
Saeyoung: Tsk tsk  
  
Saeyoung: Take everything I say with a grain of salt, Jaehee.   
  
Jaehee Kang: You are exasperating.   
  
ZEN: I’ll talk to Jumin about it and see what he thinks.

ZEN: But I like the sound of that.  
  
ZEN: As long as the cat isn't too lifelike it should be ok… 

Saeyoung: Yes!!!!

Saeyoung: So excited! lol  
  
Saeyoung: I can’t wait meow   
  
Jaehee Kang: Why do I have a feeling I’m soon going to have to add another huge pile of paperwork to my current workload? 

ZEN: Hang in there, Jaehee.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I shall try.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Better get going and have a word with Mr. Han in regards to all this; I just want to make sure he has your best interests at heart.  
  
ZEN: I believe so

Jaehee Kang: Seriously   
  
Jaehee Kang: Did the sun rise from the west this morning?

Saeyoung: It is a bit admittedly weird seeing the two of you actually get along for once.  
  
ZEN: I know…

ZEN: It IS weird;;  
  
ZEN: But maybe he isn’t as terrible as I initially thought he was.  
  
ZEN: I think I was holding something against him that wasn't even in his control, something that wasn’t even his fault at the end of the day  
  
ZEN: I was blaming him for someone else's actions...  
  
ZEN: Which I don’t think is very fair on my part.  
  
ZEN: Of course, he’s still a big jerk

ZEN: And I can’t stand the way he casually treats all the wealth he’s got^^  
  
ZEN: But it is what it is.

ZEN: I did not choose to be born into the neglectful family I was born into, just like Jumin didn’t choose to be born into a rich one

Saeyoung: So wise

Saeyoung: Like Bhudda lol

Saeyoung: Bhudda Bhudda

Saeyoung: HONEY BHUDDA CHIPS

Saeyoung: I’m going to go eat some chips  
  
Saeyoung: Zen, let me know if you need my cat

Saeyoung: Laterz meow  
  
_Saeyoung has left the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: Wait   
  
Jaehee Kang: Won’t Mr. Han be hell bent on having Elizabeth be the star of the show?

ZEN: Oh… Ya;

Jaehee Kang: Maybe I can speak with him and see if we can come to a compensation, something that meets both of your requirements.

ZEN: I would like that.

ZEN: I really appreciate everything you do, Jaehee  
  
ZEN: Even if Jumin doesn’t.

  
  
Jaehee Kang: Thank you so much for saying that.   
  
Jaehee Kang: Now, I must get going.  
  
Jaehee Kang: I need to fetch myself another coffee ASAP…  
  
ZEN: I should get going too.  
  
ZEN: I need to go work out and clear my mind.  
  
Jaehee Kang: Is something bothering you?  
  
ZEN: I don’t know…  
  
ZEN: Something Saeyoung said got stuck on my mind

Jaehee Kang: May I ask… What is it~?  
  
ZEN: I’m not sure

ZEN: Let’s talk later?

Jaehee Kang: Alright. 

Jaehee Kang: Let me know if you ever feel the need to talk.

ZEN: I will.

Jaehee Kang: Goodbye!  
  
ZEN: Bye. :)

_ZEN has left the chatroom._  
  
_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.** _  
_I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN. __  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave me a comment if you liked it. thanks for reading <33


	11. Maybe A Shooting Star

**[new chatroom] Maybe A Shooting Star  
**

* * *

_Yoosung* has entered the chatroom._

Yoosung*: Oh  
  
Yoosung*: T_T

Yoosung*: It looks like nobody's here.

Yoosung*: I'm having a mental breakdown and nobody is here-!!

Yoosung*: Fine

Yoosung*: Maybe I will have conversation with myself. 

Yoosung*: DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT IF I WERE A PLANET I'D BE PLUTO

Yoosung*: I'm just glad I didn't get Uranus to be honest^^ 

Yoosung*: I've been up half the night~  
  
Yoosung*: researching things on the internet for this assignment I have due tomorrow morning,

Yoosung*: but somehow I ended up taking a bunch of random quizzes, 

Yoosung*: And now I know that if i were a type of fish i'd be koi, and that i'm chaotic-neutral although,  
  
Yoosung*: I'm not sure what that means exactly and that i might be bi-curious?

Yoosung*: and that the color chartreuse is a type of green not a type of red  
  
Yoosung*: so i have all this useless information but  
  
Yoosung*: I don't know what I'm supposed to write,

Yoosung*: 6000 WORDS!!!! I NEED 6000 WORDS???

Yoosung*: So far i have 7.  
  
Yoosung*: And that's just my name???

Yoosung*: not even my full name

Yoosung*: oh godddddddddtddd 

Yoosung*: i'm gonna fail out of college

Yoosung*: my parents will disown me,,,

Yoosung*: and dump me out like yesterday's trash and cut off all my funds so then i'll be relegated to the streets,

Yoosung*: living off other people's scraps and talking to the pigeons on the sidewalks?

Yoosung*: Because nobody wants to be friends with an unsuccessful college student.

Yoosung*: Not in this day and age...!!!

Yoosung*: Jumin! I wish Jumin was here

Yoosung*: Jumin, you're ancient right?

Yoosung*: Tell me something inspiring about your success story

Yoosung*: And why aren't you here, Zen!?

Yoosung*: You're usually awake at this hour, sharing midnight selfies...

Yoosung*: No response

Yoosung*: Just radio silence!

Yoosung*: T_T

Yoosung*: I've had three entire energy drinks and I feel like Saeyoung high on Ph.D Pepper or something

Yoosung*: I am so I nervous I can't even play LOLOL

Yoosung*: what's gonna happen to me...?

Yoosung*: i wish rika was here

_Saeran has entered the chatroom._

Saeran: Hi.

Saeran: Could you please have your crisis somewhere else?  
  
Saeran: Or schedule it for another time?

Saeran: Some people are trying to sleep.

Yoosung*: OH MY GOD 

Yoosung*: A RAY OF LIGHT IN THIS DARKNESS

Saeran: What are you talking about?

Yoosung*: You!!!!!!! I NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND YOU JUST APPEARED

Yoosung*: God must have heard my request!

Yoosung*: Not that I'm sure I actually believe in god...

Saeran: Indeed, as my phone was vibrating so much, I was afraid it was having a seizure.   
  
Saeran: And that is not even scientifically possible. 

Saeran: Daily, I regret letting my brother talk me into using this worthless messenger.

Saeran: The chatrooms were so much more fun when I was an outsider, peering in through a veil of shadows.  
  
Saeran: Or more accurately, binary numbers.

Yoosung*: I'm sorry T_T

Yoosung*: i didn't mean to disturb your sleep

Yoosung*: i just looked at the time... I didn't even realize that it's half past 3 am....

Saeran: Too late for an apology now.

Yoosung*: T_T

Yoosung*: ok 

Yoosung*: maybe i shud just try n catch some zs

Saeran: What about your 6000 words?

Yoosung*: I guess... I'll just have to submit a blank paper and then face the consequences of my incompetence 

Yoosung*: ugh

Yoosung*: i wish life was like LOLOL

Saeran: You wish life was like... a video game?

Yoosung*: Yes! wouldn't it be so much easier,,,

Yoosung*: Things are fair in the universe of LOLOL. 

Saeran: Fair? Video games are riddled with cheats. 

Saeran: Did you cheat your way to the top?

Yoosung*: No!!! Never

Yoosung*: I play games for the journey, not the destination or the eventual 'prize'

Yoosung*: Where's the fun in cheating? although... now that you mention it,

Yoosung*: I wish life had cheat codes.

Yoosung*: haaha...

Yoosung*: You're a hacker, too right?

Saeran: When I need to be.

Yoosung*: i wish a hacker could just come and hack into my life   
  
Yoosung*: make it all better somehow

Saeran: You do not want a hacker meddling in your life. 

Saeran: Or has the RFA not learned its lesson?

Yoosung*: You might be threatening me right now but it's hard to take u seriously when u use those cute emojis.

Saeran: Cute?

Saeran: That is strange.

Yoosung*: Ya

Yoosung*: Wait, what?

Saeran: Nobody has ever used that word to describe anything affiliated with me before.

Yoosung*: Ohh lucky you

Yoosung*: girls call me cute all the time and pull my cheeks

Yoosung*: i hate it, you know? like what. i can't be intimidating? 

Saeran: I think you are intimidating.

Yoosung*: Omg!!! Really???? 

Yoosung*: I can't believ it 

Saeran: You are equally as intimidating as a baby seal.

Yoosung*: ughgghghhg

Yoosung*: what am i even doing with my life...??

Yoosung*: I'm talking to my friend's shady twin brother at the witching hour while crying into a bowl of soggy cereal

Yoosung*: My friend's shady twin brother who almost brought down the organization that Rika crafted with love...

Saeran: I do not understand anything about this conversation we seem to be having. 

Yoosung*: I want to forgive him!!! Because I trust MC and Seven,,,

Yoosung*: Saeran. Is a good person. Right?

Saeran: I am not sure if you are completely aware, as you seem to be caught up in emotional distress, but I am right here.

Yoosung*: Oh...i'm sorry,

Yoosung*: I really shouldn't be taking out my frustrations on you.

Saeran: Don't worry, I don't care. 

Saeran: I do, however, loathe the fact that you have made me crave cereal at such an abrupt time of day.

Yoosung*: Maybe you'll sleep better after having a midnight snack_?

Saeran: I do not want to leave the comfort of my room.

Saeran: As I currently live two doors down from my brother. He is often awake at this time,

Yoosung*: So?

Saeran: I don't want him anywhere in my sightline at the moment.

Saeran: I'm having... a bad night.

Yoosung*: Really?

Yoosung*: hey me too!!!! 

Yoosung*: Maybe we can take comfort in the fact that we aren't alone in our miseries, hehe

Yoosung*: Do you wanna talk about it? You might just feel better after unloading some of that invisible weight  
  
Yoosung*: and attempt to come to terms with the whirlpool of thoughts and emotions that consume you?  
  
Yoosung*: Reaching out is the first step to recovery.

Saeran: That honestly sounds like...

Saeran: A terrible idea.

Yoosung*: sry 

Yoosung*: not trying to make you uncomfortable or anything;;

Yoosung*: I've migrated from personality quizzes to self-help articles...

Yoosung*: ohmg

Yoosung*: OK false alarm

Yoosung*: I thought i saw a cockroach in my lap but it was just one of my own tear stains

Saeran: You're funny.

Yoosung*: i'm pathetic

Saeran: Yes, however, that does not take away from the fact that you are funny.

Yoosung*: Well...

Yoosung*: I am glad that my sadness is making you smile...!

Saeran: It is quite entertaining.

Saeran: So thank you.

Yoosung*: ?

Saeran: To be honest, I have been having trouble sleeping for the past two and a half hours.

Saeran: I was having nightmares again.

Yoosung*: Again?

Yoosung*: So you get them often?

Saeran: Biweekly.

Saeran: Okay, no.

Saeran: Every night.

Yoosung*: EVERY NIGHT?!?

Yoosung*: Wow.

Yoosung*: That must suck...

Yoosung*: Sometimes when i fall asleep after playing LOLOL I get dreams that I'm within that fantasy realm,,

Yoosung*: Though I wake up feeling rlly bad that it was all just a dream lol

Yoosung*: So maybe you can at least wake up happy that your nightmares weren't real?

Saeran: Maybe.

Yoosung*: According to a website i pulled up just now

Yoosung*: There are a total of nine categories of specific foods that could contribute to night terrors  

Yoosung*: Do you happen to drink orange juice before bed time?

Saeran: No.

Saeran: Maybe you should turn the internet off.

Yoosung*: huh

Yoosung*: why would i do that

Saeran: You do know that not everything that you read on there is true, right?

Yoosung*: Yea... I know,,

Yoosung*: but it helps when i'm feeling too complicated to even play games,

Yoosung*: It distracts me from myself, I guess?

Saeran: Hmm.

Saeran: When Saeyoung and I were little and I couldn't sleep because I was scared or sick,,  
  
Saeran: He would hum this lullaby to me. It has no words, just a very significant tune.  
  
Saeran: Soft, pleasing.

Saeran: I still hum it to myself sometimes, I've discovered it helps.

Saeran: I'd come to despise that tune, to a point where I couldn't get it out of my head.

Saeran: I thought it was a curse for some time.

Saeran: I resented him so much for lulling me into a false sense of security like that.

Saeran: But now... It's returning to me, and it's making me feel... Lighter?

Saeran: Just like when I was younger.

Saeran: If I was with you right now, perhaps I would sing it to you.

Saeran: It works like magic.

Yoosung*: Oh

Yoosung*: Wow...

Yoosung*: Um,,

Yoosung*: My mom used to tell me bed time stories, you know? About princesses trapped in towers  
  
Yoosung*: And mighty dragons  
  
Yoosung*: Brave princes who would slay the dragons and whisk the princess away,,

Saeran: Saeyoung once read me a similar story.

Saeran: Are all the stories the same?

Yoosung*: Kinda boring, right?

Saeran: Yes.

Yoosung*: Hahaha

Yoosung*: It's weird, I thought so too.

Yoosung*: Maybe I should clear this mess I've made, make myself some tea and finish this assignment?

Yoosung*: No matter how much i don't want to....

Yoosung*: Like,,, i'm prepared to throw myself into the sun if it means escaping having to do this.

Saeran: You'll need a mountain of sunscreen. 

Yoosung*: lolololol

Yoosung*: The lame humor thing, that run in the family?

Saeran: Uncalled for.

Yoosung*: I'm just kiddddding!! 

Yoosung*: Don't be upset, hey

Yoosung*: Omggggggg!

Yoosung*: I just found an old music video Zen was in like months before he actually got famous!!!

Yoosung*: lololol. He's in a flamingo costume how have I never seen this before?

Saeran: Ah, yes. That peculiar pop song about various birds of prey.

Saeran: Those must have been trying times for him. 

Yoosung*: Don't tell me. You've seen it before???

Saeran: Of course I have.

Saeran: I have the dirt on all the gullible members of the RFA.

Saeran: I am thorough in my research, you know. I had to do multiple background surveys on each of you//

Yoosung*: I shudder to think what you might've dug up on me...

Saeran: Fun fact

Saeran: Did you know Jaehee Kang uses a fake account to leave a string of doting comments on each and every single one of Zen's uploads?   
  
Saeran: I found her in the comment section of an interview once. It wasn't even Zen's interview. He just happened to pass by in the background of it. It wasn't even his entire body. Only a glimpse at the back of his head. THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.

Yoosung*: Pssshaw 

Yoosung*: Everyone who knows Jaehee knows that

Yoosung*: Tell me something juicy!!!

Yoosung*: Actually uh wait. You haven't looked at MY search history have you?

Saeran: Every embarrassing tidbit.

Yoosung*: Oh gosh. Oh damnit!

Yoosung*: That means you know me better than any of the members.

Saeran: Yup.

Yoosung*: Not gonna lie. I'm a little bit scared.

Saeran: You should be.

Yoosung*: Are you going to start blackmailing me from now on?

Saeran: Why would I do that?

Saeran: Sounds like a waste of energy. 

Yoosung*: T_T

Saeran: Unless, you're implying that you have something in your possession that I might want? Something I would be required to blackmail you in order to get my hands on?

Yoosung*: Noooo

Yoosung*: What would I have that you want? 

Yoosung*: Can we go back to talking about innocent things please?

Saeran: Sure. By my calculations, you have 5993 words to go.

Yoosung*: I DO OH MY GOD.

Yoosung*: Ok just one more thing...

Saeran: What is it?

Yoosung*: If it really is that difficult for you to sleep at night with your brother around, my offer still stands.

Saeran: Your... offer?

Yoosung*: I don't know if Seven.. I mean Saeyoung will allow it this soon

Yoosung*: But you can seriously bunk up with me!

Yoosung*: Living alone really sucks. And we could keep each other company at night! 

Yoosung*: I'm usually up at this hour, even when I don't have scary essays due~

Yoosung*: I find that the familiar glow of the laptop or TV screen is comforting and may help you fall asleep.  
  
Saeran: Not a very good substitute for stars. 

Yoosung*: In this world of game addicts like me, it's the closest thing we get to stars.

Saeran: That is strangely a nice way to put it.

Yoosung*: Isn't it? 

Yoosung*: I think so, too!

Yoosung*: You know, I was named after a 'shooting star'

Saeran: Interesting.

Yoosung*: Yeah! It's my LOLOL username as well!

Yoosung*: I dunno. lol. Do you think that's dumb?

Saeran: I will consider it.

Yoosung*: The stupidity of what I just said or about becoming my roommate, because I really could use one?

Saeran: The latter.

Saeran: Why would you want me to be your roommate? 

Yoosung*: Why not?

Saeran: I am... Dangerous. And according to my brother, severely temperamental. 

Yoosung*: Well he does say you have the attitude of a wise-beyond-his-years toddler./

Saeran: I knew it. 

Saeran: Anyway, I think sleep might finally be beginning to wash over me.

Saeran: This was actually... Quite pleasant.

Saeran: Surprisingly. 

Yoosung*: We should do it again! 

Yoosung*: Talk, I mean

Yoosung*: You're pretty cool, Saeran.

Yoosung*: And a really good listener. Even though I guess technically you're reading and not listening because we're texting...

Yoosung*: Gawd

Yoosung*: My head hurts.

Saeran: Perhaps you should take a quick power nap, set your alarm for early in the morning and continue your assignment then?  
  
Yoosung*: O_O

Yoosung*: That's actually such a good idea.

Yoosung*: Thanks! 

Saeran: Uh... Yeah. 

Saeran: I can barely keep my eyes open anymore...

Yoosung*: Okay. Goodnight, Saeran. Sleep tight.  
  
Saeran: I hope we both dream of stars.

Saeran: Night.

_Saeran has left the chatroom._

_Yoosung* has left the chatroom._

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- so i'm back with one of these after an age because i just recently bought the V/Ray route and i'm so excited!!  
> \- i might make a couple more soon so keep an eye out if you're following this at all  
> \- please let me know if you're enjoying this in the comments! i appreciate it so much. <3  
> \- i take no credit for the emojis used.
> 
> {and yes, i'm trash for yoosung and saeran ever since i found out about yoosung's bad ending, don't @ me xD}


	12. Trophy Wife

**[new chatroom] Trophy Wife  
**

* * *

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

Jumin Han: Ah, Assistant Kang.

Jumin Han: What exquisite timing.

Jumin Han: I was hoping to catch you, as it seems that I have managed to spill wine all over my favorite pantsuit.

Jumin Han: I must have it sent in for steam cleaning immediately, as I plan to wear it tomorrow evening to my father’s charity gala.

Jumin Han: Would you drop by my place and see to this at your earliest convenience?

Jaehee Kang: Finally! 

Jaehee Kang: Where have you been?

Jumin Han: Hmm?

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, I will only ask you this once,

Jaehee Kang: Why aren’t you at WORK?

Jaehee Kang: Have you utterly lost your sense of time and space? You must realize it’s a Tuesday morning!

Jumin Han: That is not a ‘me’ thing to do. Perhaps if I were an unhealthy redhead with prescription glasses, insomniac tendencies and terrible grooming habits, though...

Jaehee Kang: You can just say Saeyoung. Anyway, I will not allow you to divert from the point.

Jaehee Kang: You were supposed to be at the office three hours ago~!

Jaehee Kang: It is unlike you to be this imprudent.

Jaehee Kang: I am being bombarded with phone calls and inquiries about your immediate whereabouts.

Jaehee Kang: Your publicist has left a loud and stern message on your receiver, demanding to get in touch with you ASAP.

Jaehee Kang: Thanks to you, I have not even gotten the chance to have my morning cup of coffee! Nor my post-breakfast and pre-lunch cups!!

Jaehee Kang: I do not function efficiently without my regular dose of caffeine.

Jumin Han: I see.

Jumin Han: First, take a breath.

Jaehee Kang: ?????????

Jumin Han: Have you considered planning a visit to a meditation camp for your next vacation? I received a flyer for one at my doorstep this morning, perhaps I can request them to arrange a C&R employee discount for you.   

Jaehee Kang: What are you talking about?

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, have you been drinking? Or perhaps you just inhaled some of that catnip you’ve always got lying around?

Jumin Han: I spent the dawn on my father’s yacht. He persuaded me into downing a couple of glasses of wine.

Jumin Han: Of course, I would not normally accept such an untimely proposition, but there are sacrifices that must be made for the sake of family.

Jumin Han: It was an excellent brew, too. Tasted lightly of woodsmoke. It had quite a cleansing aroma, with just the right amount of a bittersweet aftertaste.

Jaehee Kang: Just a couple?

Jumin Han: Ah, did I say glasses? Perhaps I meant bottles.

Jaehee Kang: My goodness!

Jumin Han: We had a nice, long chat and watched the sunrise together. You should have seen it. The rippling orange flames in the sky looked like something out of a Renaissance painting. It left me feeling quite… serene.

Jaehee Kang: I’m not an expert but shouldn’t that be a more appropriate activity for sunset?

Jumin Han: As you are aware, my father has a very tight schedule. Thus, I had to find a way to work around it.

Jaehee Kang: Are you telling me that you are hungover, and that is why you will be late coming to work?

Jumin Han: Do not be absurd.

Jumin Han: I simply do not get hungover.

Jaehee Kang: In that case, Mr. Han. I implore you to do the right thing and rush to the office immediately. Your 2’o clock has been moved up by an hour, your publicist is on the verge of quitting, the phone will not stop ringing and I need my coffee break!

Jumin Han: Why do you feel the need to persistently complain when you are being compensated for your labour?

Jaehee Kang: Why?!

Jaehee Kang: With respect, sir-! I am constantly being given tasks to do that are completely outside of my job description!

Jumin Han: Nonsense.

Jaehee Kang: How about the time you had me travel all the way to your house in the middle of night, to pick up your feline and keep her for an inordinate amount of days.

Jaehee Kang: This simply because you decided on a drunken whim that you were going to take a trip of leisure to Belgium-

Jaehee Kang: simply because you had the frequent flyer miles?

Jumin Han: That was perfectly reasonable. I trust very few people with Elizabeth the 3rd. You should take that as a compliment.

Jaehee Kang: Or that time you had me appear for a meeting with a Russian diplomat in your stead when you missed your flight, merely because you refused to postpone the date. I had to spend fourteen hours panic-learning the basic Russian alphabet!

Jumin Han: It would have looked unprofessional. Plus, you handled the meeting adequately. Did you not?

Jaehee Kang: Then there was the brief period when you had your ‘modern hipster’ phase and had me waste precious business hours in order to scour the internet for information regarding hip-hop and rap history.

Jaehee Kang: You even had me prepare a binder outlining it all in excruciating detail!

Jaehee Kang: All of this in personal interest, and not for the benefit of the company.

Jumin Han: Does a satisfied boss, not equal a satisfactory business?

Jumin Han: I believe every task I delegate to you is essential to your training, and I would not ask you to see after my affairs if I did not deem you capable of handling them.

Jumin Han: Plus, I would imagine it is quite the honour working under me.

Jumin Han: I am certain that many would be willing to go to extreme lengths to bag your job, and yet all you do is appear ungrateful...

Jumin Han: Truly a shame.

Jaehee Kang: Why do I waste energy attempting to make an executive recognize the troubles of those below him...?

Jaehee Kang: This is a tortured employee’s plight, after all.

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han. Just tell me. Will you come to work or not?

_ZEN has entered the chatroom_

ZEN: Oh, Jaehee.

ZEN: It is more accurate if you say, ‘why do I waste energy attempting to make a golem recognize human toils-?’

Jumin Han: I see you show up just in time to land a jab on me.

Jaehee Kang: Right you are,,,! It is a delight to see you brightening up this grim morning, Zen.

Jumin Han: Did you just refer to me as a golem?

Jumin Han: What, this?

Jumin Han: I had to search it up just now.

Jumin Han: It is unsurprising that you seem to be more well-informed than I am, when it comes to ridiculous fictional creatures.

ZEN: Get off your fancy yacht and go help Jaehee out!!

ZEN: Mr. Gremlin~!

Jumin Han: Are you just looking up ‘insults that start with the letter G’ now?

ZEN: Why stop at G?

ZEN: Every insult that exists in the universe applies to you-!

ZEN: So you spent the morning on a yacht.

ZEN: tbh what even is your life?

ZEN: Some of us actually work in order to afford such luxuries.

ZEN: Even then the most luxurious thing i’ve done all day is apply a mud mask to retain my skin’s natural glow.

Jumin Han: Does it glow or does it emit radiation?

Jaehee Kang: It glows. Ethereal. Like the moon,  
  
Jaehee Kang: Or coral reefs at the bottom of the sea!

ZEN: My beauty is somewhat of a mystical phenomenon. Brighter even than naturally occuring sources of light.

ZEN: I must be a cause of pain to the universe. It is as much of a curse as it is a blessing;;

ZEN: You know, they say that sometimes, when something is too beautiful- it may hurt and cause pain. Hurt your eyes and permanently damage your retinas. But also, hurt your soul.

Jumin Han: Inaccurate.

ZEN: What do you know, trustfund man!

ZEN: You would need to possess a soul to gain an understanding of such things.

ZEN: I feel a little bad for you; it must be harder to perceive the true extent of my allure when your brain is made up of nuts and bolts!

Jaehee Kang: This is true.

Jaehee Kang: Zen, you are much more valuable than a plain diamond found on the ocean floor.

Jumin Han: I wonder what would happen if some deep sea diver discovered a coral with your face on it.

Jumin Han: If I acquired it, I believe I would sell it to the highest bidder…

Jaehee Kang: I would certainly participate in that auction.

Jaehee Kang: Not that I get paid enough to actually afford to gamble off my money, even if it is for a cause as pure as an investment in Zen’s magnificent beauty.

Jaehee Kang: Look at me, getting side-tracked once again. I’ll have plenty of time to ponder Zen’s grace when I’m not swamped with office duties.

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han…?

Jumin Han: Yes.

Jumin Han: I will come into work, after I have had brunch. I would not want to disrupt the strict meal plan recommended by my nutritionist.

Jumin Han: Will that do, Assistant Kang?

Jumin Han: That was rhetorical^ I do not need your permission as I will do as I please regardless.

Jaehee Kang: Shall I act surprised?

Jumin Han: Yes, if you feel as though that might bring you some respite.

ZEN: How very extremely condescending!

ZEN: I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap on a daily basis, Jaehee;;

ZEN: I dunno how you put up with it, but I admire your diligence. Always-!

Jaehee Kang: I appreciate you saying so. But Zen, aren’t you and Jumin going to be working together moving forwards? I worry for you, as well. Mr. Han is truly…

Jaehee Kang: sigh.

Jaehee Kang: I cannot slander my boss right in front of him.

Jumin Han: Why not? Go on. Speak your mind.

Jumin Han: It does not matter to me either way.

Jaehee Kang: I will just take the diplomatic approach and say Mr. Han is a truly unique individual, and thus, working with him may prove to be… challenging, from time to time.

ZEN: it’s ok jaehee

ZEN: you don’t have to act nice~

ZEN: But ughhh

ZEN: Don’t remind me.

Jumin Han: About that, Zen.

Jumin Han: We will be flying out to Tokyo together this Sunday for a test shoot at the studio.

ZEN: WHAT!?!?!??

ZEN: WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW???

ZEN: Have you already booked the tickets?

ZEN: How did you not consult me on this before~?

ZEN: What airline are we flying?

Jumin Han: Airline…? I will not be lowering myself to a commercial airline.

Jumin Han: What an outrageous thought.

Jumin Han: You will be flying alongside me, on my private jet.

ZEN: Private. Jet.

ZEN: Seriously???

ZEN: I mean I always thought you flew business class but… I guess I should’ve known you own a private jet.

ZEN: First a yacht.

ZEN: Next thing you’re gonna tell me you have your own island.

ZEN: You’re supposed to be ending world hunger and stuff!

ZEN: Instead you fly around in private jets. God! Rich people are ridiculous!!!

Jaehee Kang: Statistically, it is not implausible that the 1% could contribute to such a thing as reducing world hunger, if they were diligent about such things.

ZEN: Why can’t you just take the subway like normal people?

Jumin Han: My own island… Ah. That’s not a half bad idea. I must jot it down somewhere.

Jumin Han: I wonder what I’d name it…

ZEN: How about ‘Spoiled-Rich-Kid-Land’ and then you and your kin can all migrate to it

ZEN: And leave the rest of us ‘common folk’ alone.

Jumin Han: Anyway, I do occasionally fly business class, however much I despise it.

Jumin Han: Their seats are rather limiting if you ask me, and the last time I tried their food, the caviar tasted a bit funny;;

Jaehee Kang: I do not recognize the language you speak.

ZEN: It’s caviar!! It’s supposed to taste a bit funny.

ZEN: Reminds me of the time that I was on this movie set, and the director went around boasting to the cast and crew that the catering included caviar,

ZEN: Turns out it was just guacamole.

ZEN: Not the good kind, either.

Jumin Han: How does one confuse the two?

Jaehee Kang: I have never tried caviar in my life, and at the rate that I’m progressing, I possibly never will.

ZEN: Don’t say that, Jaehee.

ZEN: You don’t have to work for this jerk forever. You know that, right?

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang is on a contract, and as per her contract, she is bound to stick around.

Jumin Han: Not forever, no, however much that would be favorable to me as her boss…

Jumin Han: I can have caviar added to the office menu, if you would prefer.

Jaehee Kang: If you’re granting requests, perhaps you can have the vending machines restocked instead.

Jaehee Kang: I’ve also put in a complaint about the malfunctioning coffee machine on multiple occasion!

Jumin Han: I will consider it.  

ZEN: I can’t believe I have to ride with OMG-I’m-too-good-for-commercial-airlines Jumin Han on his pretentious private jet like some trophy wife,, how about I just get there my own way-?

Jumin Han: Trophy wife.

Jumin Han: If you were a trophy, you’d be a participation trophy.

ZEN: Shut up.

ZEN: I would make an amazing trophy wife.

ZEN: UGH!

ZEN: Maybe I’ll ask Saeyoung to build me a teleportation device.  
  
ZEN: Or I’ll just book my own ticket on a regular plane for regular people.

ZEN: Anything is better than being stuck with this guy on a plane for hours.

Jumin Han: I do not know if I should take offense to the fact that you prefer spending a tangential portion of money for an overpriced mode of transport just to avoid spending time with me.

Jaehee Kang: He isn't wrong about the 'overpriced' part, I'm afraid.

Jaehee Kang: Oh, capitalism.  

ZEN: Nah, I just don’t want to owe you anything;;

ZEN: I don’t want you paying for me with your tainted money…!

Jumin Han: Honestly, Zen. I am at a loss with you.

Jumin Han: You seem to be failing to recognize that I am only doing this in order to repay you, for agreeing to model for my cat ventures.

Jumin Han: V always says that there are no rules and regulations when it comes to friendship~

Jumin Han: Nor quid-pro-quos.

Jumin Han: Friendship is meant to be immeasurable.

Jumin Han: I seem to be failing to get you to recognize me as a friend. So I must be doing something wrong?

Jumin Han: Or perhaps, I am just embarrassing myself.

Jumin Han: I do not think my pride could fathom it. Moreover, I do not know why I keep afflicting myself with endeavours such as getting you to understand.

Jumin Han: Thus, Zen. Do as you please.

Jumin Han: You may also do as you please, Assistant Kang.

Jumin Han: I shall conclude my brunch in peace, and then I’ll have Driver Kim take me to the office.

Jumin Han: Share my deepest apologies with our clients, and let them know I will be there soon. In the meantime, I trust you will keep them occupied.

Jaehee Kang: Um, yes. I shall… I shall do so.

Jaehee Kang: Thank you for understanding, Mr. Han.

Jumin Han: I suppose I need some time to clear my head as I get ready.

Jumin Han: Perhaps, I will spare a few minutes to hold Elizabeth the 3rd close to my chest and stroke her fur. White and soft as pearly snow on a winter's day...

Jumin Han: She has sneezed seven times this morning. I might have to schedule an appointment with the vet; she usually only sneezes twice. Two-and-a-half if she’s feeling excited. Anyway,

Jumin Han: Goodbye, both of you.

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

__

ZEN: …

Jaehee Kang: Would I be overstepping my boundaries if I were to deduce that Mr. Han seemed genuinely upset?

ZEN: Not really,

ZEN: Man

ZEN: I was trying to piss him off, yeah

ZEN: But i wasn’t really trying to piss him off!

ZEN: Do you get what i mean?

Jaehee Kang: Not remotely.

Jaehee Kang: I think… As much as a headache he can be, he truly is a man with strong principles, and he cares for the RFA. That includes you.

ZEN: Yea

ZEN: He always takes the things I say the wrong way~

ZEN: Or maybe I was too harsh?

ZEN: iahSNPKDSF;SDMKnksnkNSA

ZEN: sry

ZEN: Just had to get that out.

ZEN: All this stress can’t be good for my beautiful and porous skin…

ZEN: What do I do, Jaehee?

Jaehee Kang: Maybe you should give him a call later, and smoothen things over?

Jaehee Kang: Just please. Do not do it now.

Jaehee Kang: I can’t handle it if he’s preoccupied at work today;

ZEN: I can give him a call at night.

ZEN: Actually, maybe I’ll get V’s opinion on it…

ZEN: I think that dude Jumin, is actually beginning to experience the entity foreign to him, called 'emotion'

ZEN: And he just doesn’t know how to deal with it.

Jaehee Kang: That seems like an accurate evaluation.

Jaehee Kang: Ahhh

ZEN: Everything OK?

Jaehee Kang: I neeeeed coffee!

ZEN: Get some. I really hope you’ve at least eaten something since morning.

Jaehee Kang: Does an energy bar count?

ZEN: Jaehee...

Jaehee Kang: Oh no…

Jaehee Kang: I have to get going.

Jaehee Kang: One of Mr. Han’s guests is awaiting at the Reception desk. He is not pleased. I must go and abate this situation at once.

ZEN: Solid instinct! That is precisely why I hired you.

Jaehee Kang: What was that just now…?

ZEN: My Jumin impression. What do you think/?

Jaehee Kang: I think… Please never do that again.

Jaehee Kang: Neverending… Neverending work;

Jaehee Kang: I am drowning in a polluted sea of paperwork;;

Jaehee Kang: If it kills me, I would like to be buried with a stack of Zen’s DVDs decorated like a bouquet of flowers over me.

ZEN: T_T

ZEN: That sounds like a natural request, though I am flattered.

ZEN: Please take care of yourself, Jaehee.

Jaehee Kang: I will.

Jaehee Kang: Now, please excuse me.

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

ZEN: Ahh~!!!

ZEN: O_O

ZEN: You’re back?

Jumin Han: I was back because there was something I forgot to mention to Assistant Kang regarding my business calendar, but I see now that I’m too late.

Jumin Han: I will just relay it to her when I get to the office.

Jumin Han: Now then,

ZEN: Okay, wait up.

ZEN: I just want to say… I hope you’re not seriously offended or anything;;;

ZEN: I’ve just been frustrated and I took that out on you.

Jumin Han: I see.

ZEN: Truth is, I still find it extremely difficult to accept your help. Even after I’ve already accepted it, you know?

ZEN: Reminds me of unpleasant memories from my past that I’d rather not dig up.

ZEN: I know you’re trying to be my friend,

ZEN: I want to try, too.

ZEN: Despite the tension in between us.

ZEN: So uh

ZEN: Wanna meet up tonight?

ZEN: We can go to a bar or something.

ZEN: Grab a beer.

ZEN: Wine;; or something.

Jumin Han: How refreshing.

Jumin Han: Is this, what I believe, one might call character development I’m witnessing right now?

ZEN: Don’t get smug about it;;

Jumin Han: Jk!

Jumin Han: We could make that dinner, if you indulge me.

Jumin Han: Pick you up at half-past ten?

ZEN: Oh man;;;

ZEN: I really feel like a trophy wife now.

Jumin Han: I must get going.

Jumin Han: Perhaps if I see you tonight, I’ll consider promoting your position from a participation award to a consolation prize.

ZEN: You jerk…!!!

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

ZEN: Omg.

ZEN: I really do hate you.

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

* * *

**This conversation will be archived in the RFA records.**  
I hereby agree to treat this conversation as confidential.  
SIGN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- yup. it got gayer.  
> \- please leave me a comment if you enjoyed it.


	13. The Boy Who Cried Wolf

[new **chatroom] The Boy Who Cried Wolf**

* * *

_MC has entered the chatroom._

_Saeyoung has entered the chatroom._

_ZEN has entered the chatroom._

Saeyoung: HELLLLLOOOOOOO

Saeyoung: Or shall I say,,,

Saeyoung: bon voyage love birds! 

MC: Zen!

MC: You guys are still at the airport, right?

ZEN: Yeah it sucks. 

ZEN: Apparently we have to wait because they're running some kind of routine maintenance on the jet;;

ZEN: It won't be ready for another hour so I logged in to kill time. 

ZEN: And I sent the rich bastard off to get us coffee. 

MC: Whoa, wait a minute. Jumin Han, who hires people to do his laundry 

Saeyoung: don't forget his ironing!!!

MC: agreed to get you coffee?

ZEN: I'll say. I was so shocked a part of me is convinced he's been switched out for a poorly constructed government clone;;

Saeyoung: Don't joke about that, Zen.

Saeyoung: Shh. They're watching.

MC: I would cue the X-files theme, but then we'd be sued for copyright infringement.

ZEN: ... 

Saeyoung: Ooooooooo Zennnnn

Saeyoung: How do you take your coffee?

ZEN: It depends on my mood

ZEN: I rarely resort to caffeine as it could do permanent damage to the porcelain texture of my skin. I usually prefer water or beer but,

ZEN: on special occasions where my stress levels are higher than my sense of self preservation  
  
ZEN: and I'm feeling kind of spontaneous...

ZEN: I'll have the occasional decaf latte lmao 

MC: You know, I heard the decaf stuff is worse for you. 

ZEN: what about you

Saeyoung: Moi ?

ZEN: How do you guys take your coffee?

MC: I like mine with two spoons full of sugar!

Saeyoung: oh

Saeyoung: hehe

Saeyoung: haha

Saeyoung: hoho

Saeyoung: I like my coffee as dark and bitter as my soul.

MC: Okay. So white chocolate mocha.

ZEN: lmaooooooo

Saeyoung: hey!!!

Saeyoung: Don't do me in like that, babe... It hurts.

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom._

Jumin Han: Feel more pain meow 

ZEN: ACHOOO!!!

MC: Welcome welcome!

Saeyoung: All this time you thought you're allergic to cats, but maybe you're just allergic to Jumin?

MC: I wouldn't be surprised...

ZEN: Hey what are you doing online you jerk!! 

ZEN: I thought you said you would get us coffee?

Jumin Han: I made no such statement. 

ZEN: What?!?!?

ZEN: But you just...

Jumin Han: Relax.

Jumin Han: I was making a simple joke.

MC: ...

ZEN: ...

Saeyoung: ...

Jumin Han: What? Cut me some slack. Humor is still a newfangled phenomenon to me. 

ZEN: Speak Korean or English asshole;

ZEN: We are not on an episode of Downtown Abby 

ZEN: Though, I hope someday I could join the cast. I'm worried my persistent glamour would distract audiences from the dialogue though...

MC: That is true, my unicorn.

Jumin Han: I must admit, it is quite grating. I am currently standing in a line of simpletons, all of whom seem to be awaiting their orders.

Jumin Han: I must let the staff know who I am at once. 

Jumin Han: If they do not cooperate with me, I might be inclined to buy them.

MC: Jumin! You can't just go around BUYING people's companies because they treat you like a regular customer!

ZEN: Ugh you are the worst. You are the WORST!!

ZEN: That was the richest most rotten thing I've heard all day and I just spent 2 and a half hours with you;;

Jumin Han: Minus 30 if you count all of your bathroom breaks.

ZEN: They're POWDER ROOM breaks.

ZEN: A man has to look appropriate, even while in transit

ZEN: I didn't even have time to fix myself up on the drive here, between all the traffic and Jumin's annoying death glares

Jumin Han: I told you I was good to drive.

ZEN: Dumbass, I drove. You sat in the passenger's seat and steered with a paper plate. 

Saeyoung: lolololol

Saeyoung: Wouldn't Juju make the world's beesstttt uber driver?

Jumin Han: Status Update.

MC: We're all ears, sir. Over and out! 

Jumin Han: I just gave them a piece of my mind.

Saeyoung: ooo can i have a piece pls

Saeyoung: I want to sell it on the black market lolol

Jumin Han: The waitress profusely apologised for making me wait in line like a commoner.

Jumin Han: She proceeded to just hand me the drinks for free. 

MC: Unbelievable...

Saeyoung: LOLOLOLOL

Saeyoung: Mr. Han, if it's ok with you, can I create a life-size robot of you to carry around with me wherever I go? 

MC: Ooh! Oh! Maybe you should make the size adjustable so that you can fit it anywhere like a pocket puppy!

 

Saeyoung: That's brilliant. God I could kiss you right now~!

Jumin Han: I cannot help it if people are bound to recognise importance when they see it. 

ZEN: You know... Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. 

ZEN: I think you owe it an apology. 

Jumin Han: I insisted on paying, of course.

Jumin Han: I am not a barbarian.

ZEN: That's news to me...

Jumin Han: And to answer your question, Saeyoung. No, you may do no such thing.

Jumin Han: No cheap emulation can beat my splendid originality. 

Jumin Han: If you do. I could have no choice but to have my lawyers sue you.

MC: Lawyers? As in multiple?

Saeyoung: nooooooo T_T sorry CEO sir

Saeyoung: Tbh I don't see why you and Zen here don't get along better. You're both so full of yourselves, maybe, spare some space for the rest of us.

Saeyoung: The chatroom is getting polluted with the fumes of your narcissism! 

Saeyoung: Tearing holes through this cyber ozone~

ZEN: We are nothing alike. I actually possess a beating heart.

Jumin Han: I would be worried if you didn't.

ZEN: Ughhhhhh 

Jumin Han: I think you and I are a little more similar than you might think.

ZEN: Why would you even say that?

ZEN: That's a terrible thing to say.

ZEN: just get back here with the coffees ok?

Jumin Han: I will, right after I peruse this limited addition pet store for the unique new line of squeaky toys that just came out for pampered pets.

Jumin Han: Ah! I can almost hear Elizabeth the 3rd purring with immediate approval at my side. 

Saeyoung: Elly!!! Elly! My dream girl! My wife who I will someday marry! How is my darling Elly?

Jumin Han: Elizabeth the Third is her name.

Jumin Han: And do not speak of her.

Jumin Han: You deface the words that leave your mouth.

Saeyoung: Does she miss me?

Saeyoung: Does my girl miss me?

Saeyoung: Oh don't worry, MC!!!

Saeyoung: I still love you.

Saeyoung: Jumin would never let me run off with Elly anyway... 

Saeyoung: MC... will you be my backup wife? 

MC: Yes! Yes! A million times yes! A woman always dreams of hearing those words! 

Jumin Han: You two are a peculiar pair... 

MC: Says the guy obsessed with his cat to a psychologically worrying degree. 

Jumin Han: That's a fair statement.

Jumin Han: Well, I am off to buy my beautiful girl a brand new play castle,,, 

Saeyoung: Jumin, 

Saeyoung: Have you, perchance, heard of the term 'furry' ? because you're so one lololololol

Jumin Han: Of course. I received an exceptional education on an island sealed off from the world, populated only by the offspring of the obscenely wealthy. 

Jumin Han: Elizabeth the 3rd, for example, is furry. Her silken fur often brings to mind such a fitting term.

MC: Oh, Jumin. Jumin. Jumin. What are we going to do with you?

MC: Did Jaehee forget to update the list of 21C terms for you? That's unlike her... 

Saeyoung: LMAO ya that's totally what i meant 

Saeyoung: now run along

ZEN: But our coffees will get cold!!!

ZEN: AND STOP TALKING ABOUT CATS AND FUR AND FUR AND CATS FOR GOD'S SAKE IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS

Jumin Han: Exposure therapy meow.

ZEN: IT'S NOT A PHOBIA IT'S AN ALLERGY THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

MC: I'm sorry, Zen. 

Saeyoung: I'm not. By asking me to regret cats, you ask me to slander my own religion 

ZEN: But I thought you were Christian 

Saeyoung: Only on church Sundays 

Jumin Han: Saeyoung, MC.

Jumin Han: Please excuse me.

_Jumin Han has left the chatroom._

ZEN: omg

ZEN: did he just...?

Saeyoung: Sister, he juzzz did. 

ZEN: THAT

ZEN: SPOONFED

ZEN: JERK!!!!!!!!!

MC: Now let's all calm down...

ZEN: This is what I get for relying on that jerk for even a moment,,, 

ZEN: It's gonna be one tiny plane, but I am gonna find a seat as far away from him as possible

ZEN: If it comes down to it, I'll even ride on the wing!

Saeyoung: Please ride on the wing.

Saeyoung: Like... I would pay you good money to do that.

ZEN: I don't know how I am going to manage spending an entire weekend with him... T_T

MC: Oh, Zen. It will be worth it in the end.

ZEN: Will it, though? 

ZEN: Shit. I don't know.

ZEN: I think I need to spend some time alone with my thoughts...

Saeyoung: Great idea!

MC: You're brave.

ZEN: That I indeed am

ZEN: But why do you say that all of a sudden? 

MC: I'm always afraid to spend too much time alone with my thoughts...

ZEN: Oh;;

ZEN: Isn't everyone? 

ZEN: Except that robotic rich kid;;

Saeyoung: I'm not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts! Never!

Saeyoung: My thoughts are awesome! 

Saeyoung: Honey Buddha chip flavoured milkshake on a cruise ship,

Saeyoung: PhD Pepper factories,

Saeyoung: My father never loved me,

Saeyoung: I'm gonna die alone- oh boy that escalated quick. 

MC: Like I would let you die alone.

MC: You won't get rid of me that easily, Saeyoung.

MC: I am your shadow.

Saeyoung: That sounded a little threatening but I dig it

Saeyoung: I'm scared,,,

Saeyoung: and a little turned on.

Saeyoung: but mostly scared...?

ZEN: This conversation is taking a...ehrm.. turn... ;;;

ZEN: I should go get myself a shot of coffee. And then pour beer into said coffee.

ZEN: Oh but my skin.. my sweet, innocent, princely skin..

ZEN: My skin will cry all day

ZEN: Oh, I know,,, 

ZEN: I will go grab a protein shake and vent all of my concerns to the nearest non threatening looking stranger instead..!

ZEN: Talk to you guys soon?

MC: Alright. Try not to let him get to you, okay? And pop back in before you get on board if you can!

ZEN: okay understood lmao

ZEN: Laterz

_ZEN has left the chatroom._

MC: Haaa

MC: Poor Zen.

MC: He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgement.

Saeyoung: And he's stuck with the human equivalent of a malfunctioning office printer lololol

Saeyoung: It seems like we have the place to ourselves now. 

Saeyoung: Let's get ~FRISKY~

MC: Babe, no.

Saeyoung: I'm sorry

Saeyoung: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? 

Saeyoung: That's the sound my brain makes all the time 

MC: I know, babe. I know.

MC: I could come over in a couple of hours

Saeyoung: Sure, but I have to drive Saeran to Yoosung's soon 

MC: Are they really going to move in together?

Saeyoung: I give it half a day before they burn the entire flat and their consequent block down

_Yoosung* has entered the chatroom._

Yoosung*: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MC: We were just talking about you!

Saeyoung: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH X 10000000000

Yoosung*: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH X INFINITY

MC: What's going on? Lol

Saeyoung: Why exactly are we throwing a tantrum today?

Yoosung*: I am such an idiot.

Yoosung*: ...

MC: ?

Saeyoung: If you're waiting for one of us to disagree, it's gonna be a long night.

Yoosung*: So mean!!!

MC: Aw, my innocent baby lamb, Yoosung. 

Saeyoung: And you know what happens to lambs...

Yoosung*: What?

Saeyoung: They get slaughtered.

MC: He's kidding.

Saeyoung: Dead serious!

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom._

MC: Are we having a party today, or what? Hi, Jaehee!

Saeyoung: Hihihihi

Jaehee Kang: Saeyoung, MC... And Yoosung, I see. How is everyone?

Yoosung*: I'm horrible and the whole world is garbage and my soul feels like it's being strangled 

Yoosung*: thnx for asking.

Jaehee Kang: Umm... Anybody else?

Saeyoung: Moonbeams and dandelions!!!! ^^

Saeyoung: I'm working on a secret project currently

Jaehee Kang: How is it secret if you just give away the fact that it's a secret?

Saeyoung: Shhhhh it's SevenLogic

MC: I'm doing well, Jaehee. How are you?

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han has left me in charge of dealing with Mr. Chairman and he is in quite the foul mood this afternoon...

MC: Oh no;;

Jaehee Kang: I wish Mr. Han would have at least left me with a sheet of guidelines detailing the appropriate behaviour to demonstrate with his father.

Saeyoung: O i know this one

Jaehee Kang: I doubt you have anything constructive to bring to the table. So please refrain, Saeyoung.

Saeyoung: Nooo, really!!!

Saeyoung: Have some faith in me.

Saeyoung: I suggest you just keep your answers limited to "yes", "that's correct" and "you're absolutely right, sir"

Jaehee Kang: That sounds inadvisable.

MC: I think I see what you mean now. Businessmen like him always like to hear affirmative statements.

Saeyoung: Exactly!

Saeyoung: If you just nod your head like a robot and go along with everything he says;; he's bound to be pleased with you!!

MC: Easy peezy! 

Jaehee Kang: Hmm. That just might work. You know, as long as he does not suggest anything immoral.

Saeyoung: Like the murder of babies?

Jaehee Kang: No... Why would you even? Never mind. Forget I asked.

Yoosung*: Guys... I hate to interrupt the lovely chat but uh. I was freaking out, remember?

MC: You're always freaking out, Yoosung.

Saeyoung: Yeah, you've earned the title of the boy who cried wolf now

Jaehee Kang: I see.

Saeyoung: Like the boy in the story, you cry wolf every single day. But then it turns out to be something stupid.

Yoosung*: I'm not stupid.

Saeyoung: And I'm not addicted to soda.

Saeyoung: See, I can lie too!

Yoosung*: Well i'm serious now

Yoosung*: i kinda forgot Saeran was moving in today.

MC: You what now?

Yoosung*: I know how bad it looks! It wasn't on purpose, I swear!

Yoosung*: I've just been so caught up trying to apply for jobs and sort my life out

Yoosung*: Ok THINKING about sorting my life out.

Yoosung*: That still counts as being productive. Shut up.

Yoosung*: Anyway but then I just ended up staying up all night playing LOLOL again

Yoosung*: I woke up with a potato chip hangover and my bedroom looking like Godzilla threw up in it;;

Yoosung*: I haven't even cleaned! I don't want to leave a bad impression on my new roommate waaaah!!!

Yoosung*: What if Saeran thinks I'm a slob?

Saeyoung: What's wrong with being a slob?

Jaehee Kang: A range of things. Would you like me to compose an alphabetical list?

Yoosung*: I don't want Saeran to hate me!!!!

Yoosung*: He's so cool and composed and he seems really neat T_T

MC: Why don't you just relax and tidy up a bit?

Yoosung*: I should. I could but... I'm in a food coma 

Yoosung*: I can barely lift my fingers to type

Saeyoung: You're in a food coma?

Saeyoung: Do you even know what that means

Yoosung*: It means... It means I can't move my body because of how much i ate!!!!!

Saeyoung: That's not how that works at all, but okay.

Yoosung*: Of course it is. I'm smart! I know biology. The mitochondria is the power bottom of the cell or whatever.

Jaehee Kang: I think I'm beginning to develop a stress headache...

MC: There is no such thing as a food coma. That's just called being lazy.

Saeyoung: Food comas exist!!! They're what happen when your stomach implodes

Yoosung*: whaaaaat?!?!?!

Saeyoung: You better be careful about ripping open a packet of chips in the middle of the night

Saeyoung: They say all food consumed between the hours of 3 to 4 am contributes to abdominal implosions...

Yoosung*: WHAT?!?

Jaehee Kang: Yup. Definite headache.

Yoosung*: MC... He's joking right?!

Yoosung*: Of course you're joking! you eat in the middle of the night all of the time!

Saeyoung: Ya

Saeyoung: That's because my body composition differs from yours

MC: Let's not torment the poor kid today. He's got a lot going on.

Yoosung*: T_T

Saeyoung: Fiiiiinnnneee

Saeyoung: But it's a total shame. Nothing reeeaaalllyyy entertains me like Yoosung's stupidity.

Yoosung*: Uhhh if i'm so stupid why do you talk to me? Huh??? Why are we friends?

Saeyoung: Simple!

Saeyoung: I talk to you because, in case you haven't noticed I despise myself and perpetually seek to duplicate through emotional pain  
  
Saeyoung: the cacophony of physical pain my hideous brain causes me every day.

MC: Sounds legit.

Yoosung*: I really hate you sometimes.

Jaehee Kang: Ah, right. Did Zen and Mr. Han board already?

MC: Not yet, Jaehee.

Jaehee Kang: I must admit, it will be good to have a weekend spent in the serenity that follows a silent, Jumin Han-less office room.

Jaehee Kang: I still have duties to attend to, but not having Mr. Han chirping in my ear constantly will be a pleasant change.

Jaehee Kang: I do worry for Zen, of course. 

MC: Yeah, me too. Mostly, I worry for his sanity.

Jaehee Kang: Do you think he will be okay, MC? 

Jaehee Kang: I am personally still baffled he's modelling for the cat line at all.

MC: I believe he will be fine. Jumin can be a handful, but I trust Jumin will accommodate Zen as well as he can.

Jaehee Kang: I suppose you're right. 

Jaehee Kang: I should take my leave. And I must write down your optimistic words as a reminder, to keep myself from having a panic attack over it... Yes...

Saeyoung: lol nerd

Jaehee Kang: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?

Saeyoung: You forget stuff, like a cool person 

Yoosung*: CAN WE GET BACK TO SUBJECT HERE

MC: Yoosung, it will be okay. We won't be there for another hour or so.

Saeyoung: Also consider this: you literally accept my brother for who he is

Saeyoung: after he returned fresh out of a cult

Saeyoung: I'm sure he can handle a little bit of a mess in return for your acceptance.

MC: Wow, Saeyoung. That was nice of you.

Yoosung*: Ya...

Yoosung*: That actually makes me feel better.

Yoosung*: I should go, get up and prepare right now!!! 

Yoosung*: I can also bake him something. No. there's not enough time~!

Yoosung:* I'll fetch some muffins from the store!

MC: Hint: you're better off doing ice cream.

Saeyoung: That's the key to my brother's heart tbh^^

Yoosung*: Okay!

Yoosung*: I'll get to it then!

Yoosung*: Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone!

MC: ...

Jaehee Kang: ...

Saeyoung: How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.

Yoosung*: T_T

Yoosung*: Goodbye Jaehee, MC! 

Yoosung*: YOU DON'T DESERVE MY GOODBYE SAEYOUNG

Saeyoung: Is that an indirect goodbye?

Yoosung*: ARGH!!!

_Yoosung* has left the chatroom._

Jaehee Kang: Well, I should get going as well.

Saeyoung: Us, too, MC. If you're gonna come help us out!

MC: Of course. I'll see you soon?

MC: Jaehee. Take care... Make yourself some warm coffee if you can.

Jaehee Kang: I will.

Jaehee Kang: Now please excuse me, both of you.

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom._

MC: Say... Where is Saeran, anyway?

Saeyoung: Probably off somewhere being an ungrateful little shit

Saeyoung: Ok that was harsh

Saeyoung: I think he's still packing up;

MC: I'm going to have a little chat with him when I get there. We really should get him to log into the chatroom more often.

Saeyoung: I'll say. He needs social exposure outside of his big brother and his overbearing girlfriend

MC: Say that again.

Saeyoung: Did I say overbearing, my love? What I meant was over-passionate! You just have so much love to give, you know

MC: Nice save. (not)

Saeyoung: heheheheheheheheheh u love me

MC: Unfortunately, I do.

Saeyoung: So. many. boxes. to. fill. you'd think Saeran would have like 2 pairs of long mysterious robes and that's it 

MC: You do know your brother is no longer a part of Mint Eye, right?

Saeyoung: Ehhh 

Saeyoung: Yesterday, I reprimanded him over his tattoo and he said he wanted to keep it as a "reminder"

MC: I can understand that.

Saeyoung: I reminded him that tattoos are a commitment and he looked me straight in the eye and said "so is your relationship"

MC: Ouch!

Saeyoung: IKR T_T

Saeyoung: So mean! The bratty kid;;;

MC: At least he's trying to put his past behind him. That is what's most important here.

Saeyoung: God. Thank god for that.

MC: Yeah...

Saeyoung: I'm so happy, MC. 

Saeyoung: I think bunking up with Yoosung will be really good for him.

MC: A chance at normalcy.

MC: I think so, too.

Saeyoung: Though,,, If Yoosung hits on him when he's drunk, I'll probably have to kill him

MC: Babe! What did we discuss about resorting to murder?

Saeyoung: yea yea fine whatever i'm probably catching my brother's homicidal energy

Saeyoung: hashtag Just Weird twin things

Saeyoung: OMG I'm gonna convince him to cosplay the twins from The Shining with me this halloween!!!!

MC: You just got him back, do you want to lose him already?

Saeyoung: *le sigh*

Saeyoung: my love my light my voice of reason my cat queen my green bean

Saeyoung You right...

Saeyoung: I should go check on Saeran.

Saeyoung: See you soon, honey?

MC: I'm on my way right now, baby.

Saeyoung: Aren't we just the worst?

MC: I think I just gave myself diabetes.

Saeyoung: Bwahahahah...!!!!

MC: Jumin, Zen... Have a wonderful flight.

Saeyoung: Pls go to Tokyo and get married! lolol

MC: If you're getting married, you better invite us.

Saeyoung: Oh...!!!

Saeyoung: True dat.

_Saeyoung has left the chatroom._

_MC has left the chatroom._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i just finished the ray route and that felt like being trapped in the literal emotional equivalent of Alcatraz r.i.p anyway now that i spent half of my life's savings on Another Story and i'm done with it, i'm having MM withdrawals, so here have a chapter!!! '  
> \- i've been reading a lot of incorrect quotes lately and what do you guys think about this format? i wanted to make something lighter and funnier after those hellishly painful "good endings" can you catch all the sitcom/internet references?  
> \- leave me a comment if you want more <3

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'll be honest, I'm not sure how often this will be updated. This entire 'fic' (if you can even call it that) is just written for fun, but please leave me a comment and/or kudos if you have any ideas you'd like to share or if you'd like for me to keep this going. I do have a tendency to turn short little fun projects like this into proper stories with angsty plot lines and what not, so, you never know ;). I might keep it simply a series of chatrooms or I might write in some proper scenes as well. At the moment, this could go in a thousand different directions. Let me know if I should keep it up, and thanks for reading!!


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